An Oboservation

So I just finished watching Blood Diamond. Good movie I thought. I have various and estranged thoughts, feelings and opinions regarding it but I only feel compelled to leave one. The entire movie was to depict the horrors and the atrocity of mankind in Africa. It evoked the grief and terror of merciless bloodshed, violence, destruction and devastion of human life for personal and vain gainings. Prior to the feature there was a preview for the video game based on the movie 300 in which you the participant hack and slash your way to a gruesome victory letting your main accomplishment be the heap of bodies in your wake. Amidst all of the sentiment and attempts to grab at our heartstrings to bring justice to a fallen and maimed world there is nothing sheer exposure will permanantly bring. The world is spinning in its own circles. No one has an army to intervene, the UN is worthless, the US is tied up in its other obligations and as soon as we would entire the nation within 3 weeks the war would be protested by the same people who demanded they be sent. As Darfur was rocked for there was nothing brought. No peace, nothing. Is there any settlement now. Has Rwanda become a haven of utopian conquest. No. What are opinions and what are thoughts. Amidst words there is nothing but rhetoric and empty dreams. The masses come demanding food and drink yet the only true answer is to eat the flesh and to drink the blood of Christ. We have our movements. Let Bono seel all he has to give it to the poor to only let them purchase weapons and then continue to feed off of each other. Lets drop food and feed egos letting us know that we who are good, who have been blessed with a greater and higher moral authority, who know better than anyone else, by mere providence are the sole salvation for these pity cases that demand our all (by all I mean our two cents both literal and metaphorically speaking). There is a crisis. Yet how can we as a culture mitigate that which we have no grid for and at the same time still posess the depths of wickedness we are trying to squelch. Do we therefore abandon hope and drop what we do, by no means. Do we cut aid and pull back, no. To we hide to be enveloped in ignorrance, of course not. We, I say we as Christians, are to go before the throne and command the kingdom to come. The kingdom yearns to go forth and take the land with violence. Through intercession, mercy deeds, and the release of the Gospel can any true change can happen. I mean within the entire war torn continent the only real change for good is being done by men and women like Rolland and Heidi Baker. Not only are people the problem but so are principalities and demons. We need God. I sit here kind of stunned and left with a sleu of thoughts regarding the recent release of movies like this. I mean for me personally I take it as an oppurtunity to see the world around me because the scant news articles I occassionally peruse really don't paint that great of a picture. Yet I am left worried. Americans love entertainment and we love sentiment. We love to boldly go forth and parade a cause. It is like a fad. Trapped within our suburban landscapes many march for declaring truth, justice, and problems. However, there is a day coming where every prop will be knocked away and even those in mansions will manifest the truth of their humanity, which is wickedness. There is none righteous but God. He loves righteousness and hates wickedness. Apart from His sight there is only flaw and evil. In the ever growing world community we need sentiment to begin to wilt and true compassion to take its place.

Melvis and Me and a Damme Too (The Great Ohio Excursion)

2 days. 24 hours in a van. 1,400 miles.

*Friday 6 am me and my brother Josh (Melvis, Captain M, the Captain) embarked to take him to meet up with YWAM's GX international team in Continental Ohio.

*Our escapades went forth with the commanding ballads of the singer/songwriter Raffi including: Banaphone, Michael Row Your Boat Ashore, C-A-N-A-D-A, Got to Sing, Who Built the Ark and one of my all time favorites Shake Your Sillies Out. We were pretty bummed that we couldn't get some of his others like This Little Light of Mine, Baby Beluga, or especially Down By the Bay. It was grand none the less.

*Moving on we went through other such greats as ELO, Blue States, some Canned Heat, and other estranged music such as the delightful Mickey Finn. Its not a real trip until your vehicle sounds like a 1930s speakeasy. Some good times. We discovered some marvelous places. Our number two favorite was Gas City in Indianna. I mean who wouldn't want to live there. Shoot we nearly stopped in the Taco Bell there. So As you roll your eyes at the wonderful sophmoric humor let me tell you my favorite new town: Effingham, Illinois. I mean seriously, just say it a couple of times. And yes it is a real place, with its own fairgrounds and everything.

*For any Sufjan fans not only did we see road signs for Chicago but also Decatur. We passed Carlyle Lake and crossed the Kaskaskia River.

*Like every great trip we packed some great food. Amidst the green tea, fruit chips, cookies, and sandwiches there was one thing that we pretty much stuck with, a five lb bag of Gummy Bears. Yeah, that is alot. I mean five pounds. After about two and a half lbs we just got sick of it. We ended up just throwing it out the window hoping for bears to grow. We had both Grizzly and Polar varieties and they should be full grown by late August.

*Indianna and Ohio are very boring states. I mean sheesh, wow. It was so painfully long driving through them. It was like "Ah-ing" for hours without a single "Choo." That and I think I found a city with worse roads than KC, Indiannapolis. Yikes it was confusing. I mean if you like the country and nothing around I guess it would be a cool place to be but, I have to pass.

*On our way to Continental, which is a small town in rural Ohio, the Captain and I were pretty antsy. It had been about 11 hours in the car and the back country roads were getting to us. It was wierd, next to every other farmstead was a nice personallized pond. I mean nice clear water, nicely set boundaries and lovely tractors in the distance, some good times. So in the spirit of the land we were kind of hoping for a sheriff to cross our path. I mean we wanted to be chased. I mean plowin through hay bales kind of chased. We foud some banjo music and cranked it in the van and went a lookin'. Granted had we seen one we would have slowed down, just due to time contraints but seriously, I never was a Dukes fan but something in us just wanted a chase.

*So we got to Continental High School, home of the Pirates, while blasting some banjo music with the windows down and met up with Darren who happened to join us out there. We went inside and watched the presentation. It was really good. I mean there was skating, dancing and some really good testimonies. Honestly, it was really good to get outside of the bubble, I mean really good. It made me miss doing youth ministry, its been about 4 years since I have done any. At the end there was a huge response, alot of people came up and got saved. Funny thing is that as soon as the altar call was given Darren and I instinctively just started going at it in tongues. Good times.

*I am really excited to have my bro do this, I mean he doesn't really go to churhc but he loves God. That and it was really rad funny seeing the people flock to the presenters who they were so impressed with. I joined in and got my buddy Mickael Santillian's autograph on my hand. He is 5foot nothing and 14 and I give him a ride home about once a week with my bro. He was taken back, Darren even got a dollar signed.

*Darren and I then ventured to the Comfort in about an hour away and we crashed for the night enjoying some pizza and recanting tales of the previous week. It left me jonesing really bad, I mean bad. I need to get back east, see the outer banks and just get some Bojangles chicken, its been years.... I miss it.

*The next morning he left and then I headed back home. 11 hours in the car by myself were good. I ended up listening to a bunch of music I hadn't really listened to in a good long time including Blindside, Mae, the Insyderz, Maylene and Calibretto. Not to mention some good old fashioned Bob Dylan. Also I jammed out to some sermons from TACF. Interesting thing is that as soon as Ed Piorek (one of those preaching) started talking about getting lost in the river of God I drove across the Mississippi, it was a good visual. It was a good time. I mean God and I had some really good talks. 11 hours and 15 bottles of green tea later I finally made it home.

*It was a long two days. But good I would have to say it was good. This has by far been one of the most peculiar spring breaks I have ever had.

Intro for the Next Little Red Book

All hat are left are caricatures of dreams that once lived. They fly through the air whimsically asking for the owners to join them there. What is there left to pursue? Anything of conquest or grandeur seems to be a blowin’ in the wind as pomposity sinks to record lows. Nothing more than marketing agents are left selling products and namely themselves, always cutting the best deal for the most compatible of cliental. What is left? Are there words? Are there songs? Sure we can rehash a few feelings, throw in a couple new scenarios, campaign for a cause which will ultimately go ignored as the world continues to turn.
Truth cries out in the streets for an open ear. Ears not plugged by headphones and Apple devices are clogged with opinion and jargon that even the one who spews it is not even sure of. To use vocabulary for such dubious gain, enjoying the accomplishment of using something new and exciting where even the painful expression of Homer Simpson has been immortalized within our hallowed vestibules. Like a pen tickling an ear so go forth the droning of the resources at the skeletal fingertips of the ever advancing megalopolis.
Left with nothing but bytes identity has been erased without a glance. From the big yellow bird to the kid with his pie we embrace one another with the conquest of the familiar roads. Voices in an endless supply on play lists churning through cognition that flickers like a dying light bulb. It is clearly dying yet it is lauded for its uniqueness and nonconformity letting the sputtering hum chide in with the volumes of public opinion. Sure it isn’t glamorous but may the glamorous be damned. For too long has propriety held down the visage that has berated this people long enough like the crack of a slave master’s whip. Decadence pours forth as splendor as the grunge cried out “Rape Me” and the children of years later join the parades that make Tim Burton seem like Mr. Rogers.
Yet we are left with the pedestals. An inward spiral of a food chain that preys on that which is weak and nullifies pain as an identity or as a gift of attention. Daddy’s little girl grows up to be all she ever wanted. Writing songs of heartache and glamour as she bares all in magazines inviting thousands to rape their minds. Words scream for meaning as “love” has been torn down to just another empty orgasm crushing the innocence of a naïve child. The seal is broken and the ache pours forth. Confusion fuels animosity as the vacuum perpetuates nothing but verbose lies and pimped out rides. Even those who despise the culture cannot live without it.
Opinions run like wildfire consuming all sense of cohesiveness. Millions march against that which they do not parading a cause that gets them attention. Vengeance lies in the heart of the masses as injustice continues to gnaw away at their lifestyle. Spanning all scopes of social class, the bourgeois and proletariat alike sink there claws deep within themselves as they do each other. A vendetta will come as the wheel is being spun to select next year’s scapegoat.
Lenin has been long dead. As has Lennon, but his message was at least catchy so it sticks around today. The banners of yesteryear have been traded in for blogs and home movies. Wayne and Garth would be proud, but frankly they were a joke to begin with. Pomposity and Novocain are sold side by side with Mountain Dew in vending machines; there is no Yellow Five which makes it less of a hazard. Society has now been left vapid. With an empire of crutches that would even make the Big Bad Wolf laugh. There will be a huff and there will be a puff.
Truth cries out and will be heard. Awaken my friends from the inebriation of the status quo and rise beyond the noise of the neon signs and personal dating ads. Truth runs up and down the streets looking for a friend in her time of agony and loneliness. In her is the wellspring of Life, a radiant kingdom paved by the blood of its humble and tender King. Blood alone turns the wheels of history and the kingdoms of the earth will become the Kingdom of our Lord. Truth will lay waste to every crutch holding up only those who have answered her ringing call.
Amidst concubines and gardens, conquests and riches, wisdom and folly there was only vanity. In a time where even that which is concrete becomes a platform of change and interpretation how much more is there vanity. He calls to pull out the IV line and feel. Awaken to that which is real and be long in the affection and groaning of heaven. He is the only physician. Escapism leads only to a catatonic state rot with cynicism and bitterness. Truth rings out and may her friends make her known, only that which is known may be trumpeted. This tree is sweet to the taste but amidst many counterfeits may she be solely feasted on.

Residue of a Lucid Thought

As a dawn melds into the burning haze of dusk I come before this time and place with nothing to offer you except that which beats fervently deep inside me. Unto your mighty and glorious face I lift up that which has been breaking for what seems an eternity pass. Succumbing once again to this unobtrusive medium of solitary composition I feel the breaking begin to ensue. As the words dance around me in lucid symphony the brilliant hope pierces my soul separating light and shade. Of cataclysm and memorials twilight lay far in the background as almost chapter turns seem eminent. Your mercy moves through me like the silhouette of words long spoken ago. Truth echoes from the streets looking for just a friend and by happenchance few have inclined there ear. Each letter the silver lining of infinitude unlocking a chasm deep of joy and mystery laced with the sting of agony. Before time they stand still spoken to embrace the one who ventured in the garden. So speak words and calloused tones the light pours forth out of Your radiant lips washing over the fledgling youth as with each loose end you play my heart strings and move from dirge to waltz to symphony and back again. Lost amidst the frailty of misconception we drift along hearts laid bare before Your gentle hands. Destiny commands within the sheltered minds as You even now survey your promised land. Without regret fearing remorse I fall into Your arms the delicate balance of safety and affection in the tears of confusion and ache. You surround your people and whisper through the skeletons each word wrapping tightly around the brittle bringing new life to that which has fallen away to despair. Dusk comes yet all that is left an unsettling. Heart in Your hands and a breaking most emanate. The angels dance through the movements of the tears and planets alike each one you cherish like a Father over His beloved children. The times and seasons seem useless as the one who changes them continues to remain aloof. I pine for your touch and your breath to consume just one second of this haggard pursuit. In tenderness you look down peering deep into the well of my gaze drawing deep the water that He once poured. The bubble out into tears washing over that which for so long holds a scrutinizing reign. Fists broken from beating the wall and tongue dry from years of rhetoric He calls out to rest.
“Rest in My arms and partake of My table, Oh my child whom I delight. Your heart beats into the night and each palpitation wraps around the inferno that burns deep within mine. Come behold the pouring of weakness as disdain trickle from immature cravings. Each tear flows into my heart covering the depths of each chamber as I long to make all things new. In the broken places I have found you faithful My friend in whom I am utterly ravished over. The day will come when the words will ring true as the Word becomes flesh and absorbs every ounce of your precious frame. A wedding is planned and a day of gladness will come, in the meantime find your solace in me.”
Galaxies spawn overhead lapping up the cosmos in an array of supernovas and black holes. The trees clap in the wind as You suspend even plastic bags in flight. The foundation of jubilation to be laid from Zion into the halls of the courageous and uncertain alike. You breathe your breath with burning flooding the absolute with that which is beyond comprehension. The words continue to dance through me as chapters unfold and homesickness grows. Oh to be of another age to see the land that stretches afar and behold the King in His beauty. Thoughts will ponder the former terror as hope arises from the ashes of His wonderful creation. Even the weak shall become luminous as justice will be poured forth. What is man that you are mindful of Him that blood screams from the dust a victory cry over the broken body of Death. Beauty will arise in due time as rotations begin to plod onward. Yet I cry from this place of humanity, “Oh to know love and to know Christ. To live beyond words and fractured feelings. To drink deep of the vats of the goodness of God and the pleasure of the joyous Son. My Father in heaven Holy is your name I praise and bless You. Oh to drift into the sea of reality to be lost in that which awakens the dead. You have not forgotten me or any of your children, I pray that I would see your face.”

Hillbilly Hunting

So I am going to the woods by myself for a couple of days. Looking for God, solace, and contemplative stuff. I am going hopefully in utter silence. I will be in the middle of nowhere, if you wanna throw out a prayer for me I will greatly appreciate it. Anyhoo..... thats all be thoroughly blessed!!

It Must Be Beautiful

What was dim becomes clear
With a dulcid roar
And a hint of sunshine
Like the meadows of spring
The wind is caught in its untimely dance
With a voice in the distance
Warming the uncertainty
Hope rises through semi poetic thought
A new day awakens as will another tomorrow
Destiny collides with destiny
Letting the uncreated one marvel
At the work of His glorious ways
Nothing is forgotten
Say for released sin
Wholeness grabs us by the hand
Linking a people to the radiant homeland
At the end of the yellow brick road
Gold and cinders glowing beneath our feet
With a heavy sigh we move on certain He hears
With a heavy sigh He longs for the day
Which every tear is gone and there is no sorrow
Songs will be sung with great joy
Symphonies and ska will fill the air
As a mighty chorus pulls us through the bog

Journally Nonsense

I don't really know why I am writing, just something I felt like I need to do. To be honest I stare at the screen hoping that by some miraculous way that questions I have will be answered, solace will be gained, and that someway somehow there would arise through these many words some peace and comfort would be gained. Its interesting the way the mind wanders. Honestly I am not posting really for any of my four readers but really just for myself. Looking back the past month I can do nothing but say that God is good and that He is faithful. His gentleness and provision have far supassed anything I have attempted to conceive. It's not good for man to be alone. It isn't and man let me tell you, after years of living in haunting isolation and obscurity it is so good to have friends to run with. Honestly, I mean from the depth of my heart my friends are so dear to me and yeah.... I'd say more but I have honestly no words or attention to do so. Shoot I still want to be in love hardcore and everything, but shoot, who doesn't to a degree. I mean right now I stand with contentment with what I have smiling at God with a big goofy grin, He returns it with an even bigger one. God is good and prayers have been answered. Shoot I kind of am getting a picture of why I am alive and the fruit of God's redeemingand healing work. I mean we need to know the Father and we need to know love. We need dignity, security, direction, and identity from the one who made us. I guess it kind of is the more manly compatable view to what the Bridegroom offers, I mean don't get me wrong there are probably a million theologically wrong things with that statement but it is kind of how I see it now. I mean shoot we are a broken orphaned people raised by a glowing box. There is ache and a void which only He can fill. You can't give answers unless you have the answer in living breathing moving wonderment in you. Processes can be a pain but God is good.

So if you are still reading, I assume you are one of my beloved comrades. Meaning you are amazing and just all in all spectacular. Be blessed. I mean seriously ask God to bless you right now, that'd cool. I mean the prayer of Jabez did make it into the Bible..... anyway, I need sleep. Peace out!