A disconcerted effort follows parched lips
Cracked and peeling the grip the cup
Searching for moisture

Hidden behind them swirl the eulogy
Of a time that once was and God willing
Will never be again

Sadness bound in selfish repose with silence
Lockjaw vernacular pitted against the cries
Of hope persistent bellowing

The shattered glass cuts deep into the dross
A faded cross still swaying from rugged neck
Defying the meandering thoughts

Heaven hangs above like Orion's bow
The river Kedar too long a distance
For the sake of closure

Her voice trails allong the countours of my mind
Like the dew of an inbreaking dawn
Distracting from all other color

A melody comes from the distant hills
A hopefull banjo strumming in the wind of decision
Chiming in with the bluejay's ditty

Samson's hair at my feet a time once held
By warrior's defending the promise of life
Budding forth into virtue

Mistakes are held by all at my side
Denial of our humanity pales in contrast
To the taste of new creation

Now I lay me down to sleep with the laughter
Of times once spent in an oblivious demeanor
Being redeemed into a glorious smile

Hackneyed Journal Entry

Right now I write on a back porch staring skly high at the glowing orbs above. Life goes on and time stands still for no man. Over the past couple of days I have been reimmersed into the universe of the american pursuit, life, love, sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Formalities fall by the wayside as a man excitedly welcomes you inot his house while he takes yet another hit from his gravity bong. Mind you this was just a detour on the way to a concert whose population was primarilh hippies. Desperation floods all that I see, I mean that and denial. It happens where you lock eyes with a girl as she expouses about the weekend she had when she kicked dignity out the door, a laugh follows then a look craving some sort of congratulations. What is man that God is mindful of them. I mean where words fall and salt either pollutes or loses its saltiness truth fizzles into complacent disillusion. So I sit here about to retreat in to read. It has been a pleasant stay. I met with a friend of the family earlier today and he told me of his journey whcih bolstered some hope in me. Also he is working towards producing a screenplay on the life of John Newton and working on writing a couple others. Tonight I will most likely drive around and do pretty much nothing, I mean Richmond seems to have less open than KC. Right now my buddy is at work and then will close his evening enjoying some of the "benefits" of one of his friends. I don't envy him, shoot I know I would have but everything breaks in my heart. Which leads me to my only state, I mean honestly dealing with my own feelings which I am pretty sure that will be crushed....... yet clinging on to the non jackass true view of my Almighty Father.I don't fear anyone reading this but man, it is dang lonely, but not at the same time. I know a trite as it sounds gratitude for the pr team and ftfnf crew and all the others have dramatically increased. I have found rest. But at the same time also unrest. It would be to grow up, I want to act my age but everything in me opposes it. God is good, if some one read be blessed. You are deeply treasured, both by God and most likely me.

Night Swimming

His sovreignty streches aurora's flame
Corrosive love debunking the myth
Passionate zeal the mortals can't tame
As they wait for Kubric's monolyth

The hounds of heaven on my backdoor
Wisdom's beckon to forlorn ear
A string quartet of angels emplore
Charity's reckoning to cancel fear

Words flow through the dullen void
Constellation dividing our time
Impermeable discretion with which we toyed
Falls underneath His whisper sublime

The heart made of harpstrings does sing
Lament and sonnet for the unseen King

My Journey Thus Far (Abridged)

On the road again.... doo doo doo doo on the road again.... hmmm hmmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm....... doo doo doo doo doo doo on the road again. I never could remember those lyrics but I like the tune.

So anyways, right now I am lying on top of a quilt on a bed in Richmond, Virginia. I am in my good friend's house, the one which I spent every summer for a good long portion of my life. Also I just met (Kah-CAW!) Anthony, he seems pretty rad. Being here brings back memories, good ones and sad too. All in all I am pretty bushed. I figured that if I did not blog now I would probably never get around to it and diligence would go to pot..... so here we go.

Day one. I embarked east with my feathers fairly ruffled at gas prices but then got cruising and was able to deeply inhale the in vigorating aroma of the open road, thats right diesel exhaust. For the most part day one was pretty uneventful. I was cruising off of about four hours of sleep and all I had in me was to pay attention to the road. I caved in and got a Rockstar Juice energy drink and let that keep me going, which suprisingly has no high fructose corn syrup in it.

I did however get through Stuart's teachings on the Lake of Fire and it was a hell of a good listen. Bad puns aside I liked it, it had been awhile since I had thought/mused/meditated on judgment and damnation. I thank the Lord that He has taken me from where I once was with this subject, namely self righteous and trigger happy. He is good, and He loves His people, I mean alot. And that my friends is a whole bunch.

I got turned around in St. Louis and ended up making another detour as well. I personally blame the rascally Sufjan Stevens fro writing songs pretaining to landmarks in Illinois. I saw a road sign to Carlyle Lake and just had to venture. It added another fifty minutes to the trip but I did also get to see the Kaskaskia River (another Sufjan interlude) and the benevolent and wonderful Sassafrass Road.

I got to kentucky and despite all the bad news I heard about the state I di not mind it at all. Its not the greatest place in the dark but the next day it was a pretty drive. I miss green mountains a whole lot. I satyed at a sleazy, and I mean sleazy as in I never want to come close to imagining the other clientel in that dingy place ever, hotel and conked out for the night after a hearty meal of Taco Bell.

Today was a good day. A beautiful drive through the mountains. West Virginia is officiall my favorite state tp drive through, I mean truly magnifiscent. I love the Appalachians, I could go on for hours but I am tired and the position I am typing with is kind of killing my wrists. My mind wandered back to a subject I thought I had moved on from and a handful of other stuff God and I were currently processing, it was a good time thanks to the aide of Woven Hand, Audra Hartke, Bob Dylan and part of a sermon by Andy Comisky. I love that state.

As soon as I crossed over to Virginia all of a sudden the heavens opened. By opened I mean it poured rain and hail with a vengeance. In the distance I could see bolts of lightning but could not see 20 feet in front of me. Normal driving this is tolerable but not when you are in the mountains with huge trucks, not a very enjoyable experience.

Everything cleared and I ended up moseying on my way to Richmond. It was a gorgeous drive and I will post some pictures of the trip thus far in a future juncture. I got in town and all of a sudden my inner man kicked in, I mean praying in the Spirit and a buzzing. I mean I get out of my car and there is no life. I take for granted that I live in a semi open heaven around people who love and pursue the Lord. I had assumed alot about what the return would be like but never imagined anything so lifeless. It will be a tough stay, its good to see my friends, but once again there is no life. God is good. I am tired. You are amazing. Be blessed in Christ's holy name.

A Meager Entry

Again left
Vaguely bereft
Hidden in the cleft
A longing
To flow into symmetry

The sky beats down
Green Towers
That loom above
Hearts that beat
And lives that are led

Its a far better thing I do
Its a far better death I die

Romantic cliche becomes reminiscent
Of tandem moments never held
From such great heights

The dull hum of a soundtrack
Propel into the distance
Lost vantage points
Littering the highway with pages from a screenplay
Dancing in the air
Along with that beloved plastic bag

He's got the whole world in His hands
Shouldn't that always be enough

A signing off of sorts
Attempt of momentous proportion
Leaves with statement

Time will move on
It will never be stopped
Change will happen
Inevitability wrapped in uncertainty

Here's to the summer

The Sunrise Does Prophecy My Beloved Return

So it has been a good long while since I have posted anything, let alone a personal reflectionesque entry. So here it goes. I sit here at the close of yet another nightwatch Thursday wearing my Thursday shirt and slightly wondering what ever happened to them. That aside I can say that there is something in the air, not the avian flu, but something that smells of change. Tonight after carousing and chillaxing with friends, Romans, and countrymen I was left with more or less little solace. I don't know what is around the corner, just change. Upon dropping off Kevin Samuel at his ever humble abode I gunned it to the QT, picked up some wine flavored Black and Milds, and then proceded to my little nook off of 155 near N. Madison. Honestly, I don't really know why I got them but I did and just stared into the horizon and talked to God. Not much happened, just some dodgy thinking and humming along to the Danielson Famile mix cd in my car. In the distance I could see the sky erupting in quite a formidable fashion. Towards the east the skyline was covered with a warm orange glow that began to emerge with a sense of great dignity. Whisping away into a dulcid yellow, the rest of the expanse was bursting forth with an intoxicating blue that faded into the darkness of the entrails of night. It was very serene, a haunting peace but it held an anthem of peace within its presence. The sight greatly contrasted the weary groan of all that seemed to be in me. Honestly I don't know what is to come, I hope good things but even hope has become such an empty word. I mean after a long season of having my heart and soul broken an end seems near but holding only irresolution. But there is an end atleast.
The cd cycled over and I decided to mosey over to the room of prayer. I mean atleast there you can be somewhat direct with God and it is just good to be with familiar faces who you run with. I left after the set and just ended up standing outside beholding what I had earlier seen birthed. After a brief conversation with Bates I continued to get lost in the sky. The bright sun was cresting in a glorious fashion over the trees and life seemed to become illuminated. Not in the sense that answers and closure was brought at all but the green leaves upheld the light in the distance and as every day the earth was awakening. I have never been much for describing beauty and joyous things very eloquently, honestly I used pretty much all I have in the previous paragraph, but it was a moment that had me briefly captivated.
God is good. I am clueless and I am glad I have people to run with. My horizon is currently really packed. Three days from now I leave to go beack east for about a month. Honestly I am returning to relationships that lie dormant in a place in which obscurity and apathy swirl in a cyclone of convenient escapism. Sure it sounds harsh but then again it is in America. God is good. I can take all the prayer I can get if you think about it. But yeah.... thats all from here, enjoy a sunrise, but remember what follows.