Sunday, August 26, 2007

The Workers Are Going Home

Summer is coming to a quick and rapid close. It is interesting, it is ending on a note which I honestly never saw coming. Amidst the busines of the base and other things it seems as if myself and the gang are to a degree parting ways yet going the same direction. Seasons change and so do atmospheres. I am pretty enthused for this school year yet am left pondering if this is all there is for me. Granted for awhile my thoughts were tied down here strictly because of the community I am at the point of wondering if this is actually what I want to do with the rest of my life. I have no technical skills and musically am hitting nothing but walls. A couple times a week I even toy with the idea of running off to law school, I mean I am only twenty. Granted regardless of what I will be doing I will be keeping a life in prayer and pursuing God, but is this all there is for me. I hold firm to the prophecies and I beleive that we are in fact living in a sovreign time of history yet I feel as if I am just merely floating. Everything that once drove me seems to have fallen through the cracks of selfish ambition or even futility. As of recent I have been given words about asking for the desires of my heart, I haven't the slightest clue of what they are. I mean other than the normal ones like know God, fall in love, and actually walk in a calling. I will know more and more of God as the days pass, I am not really attracted to anyone at all now, nor do I have any idea of what I want to do with my life. I know I need to grow up and that is currently the one thing I am working on, doing miserably but working on. I mean I live at home with my family, have most of my needs met, and have really never held any responsibilty. I mean God has me where I am for a reason, that is something I cannot refute. I am at a place where I want something to run for. I have come to a place where I don't just want to follow another man's vision but carve out my own. On the plus side I am enjoying school, my heart hurts resoundingly less, hope is blossomming, and I am beginning to have more peace than I have felt in a very long time. I know next month holds many good things, I don't know what they are but its a promise I have been clinging to for about a year now. On another note I miss a lot of the music I used to listen to, specificly Weezer and Ben Folds. If you think of it throw up a quick prayer for their salvation. Thatis all there is from here. Sham on.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

A Tux Would Be Nice

Imagination brings me to speak
Of things I could be for a week
To get this weighty issue off my chest
I think to be a penguin would be best
Waddling around the land of ice and snow
With puffy feathers that look like a fro
Eating fish and playing penguin games
Making penguin friends and confusing their names
Like Biff, Dexter, Fran, and Gus
Cornelius, Cindy, Charlotte and Russ
In the morning we'll dance until noon
Getting down to the Sea Lion's croon
We'd then hussle to pick up the slack
By getting rides on a Narwhal's back
He would sing us a song and we would sing along
Aquatic melody for the price of a few prawn
Then we would fish with all of our penguin chums
Tasty food that would be eaten though we lack gums
Scampering and frollocking and diving off cliffs
Exploring on icebergs with waves like guitar riffs
For a week this snowy utopia would be a magical delight
Any more could very possibly be a terrible fright


*This ditty is dedicated to global warming and the charming documentaries it inspires

Monday, August 20, 2007

It's Now Monday

So it has been nearly an eternity in which I have blogged something other than memorable points of my all too fabulous life or a lamentable solliloqui for the workings of God in the inner man. So with the crashing dawn of this school year and epiphany of an August I figured I would throw down something of merit. At the behest of Kristine, the Vinyardy Mansionite, I will briefly discuss the Bridegroom in a more guy friendly context.
When every guy ponders what they want, it is obvious. I mean clearly what grips at the heart at every testosterone laden male is the thought of being swept off of his feet and then married in an elaborate ceremony in which he gets lost in his husband's eyes. So yeah, that was sarcastic, I feel it necessary to point that out because of the several times my sarcasm has been taken serious due to the utter lack of fluctuation techniques for type without completely throwing off the reader. Instead I would rather have an excessively long explanation which at the end completely diverts any and all attention away from the original point.
Well that was a waste wasn't it, but a pretty waste..... So okay. I think the hinge pin for a guy to fall in love with the concept of Jesus as a bridegroom is summed up pretty well by Solomon in Proverbs 6:34, "for jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge." I heard it put this way, the return of Jesus is easily related to the following situation: Supppose a man's wife or significant other was severely beaten and raped. At the hospital he runs into the one who did it to her waiting to do it again. He in turn has all hell released on himself by the furious husband.
This is the very context for all judgment. God is not some being up in heaven pissed off yearning for the day he can give those jerks on earth their due. It is the lovesick bridegroom who is coming out of Edom clothed in crimson (Is 63) in order to avenge His bride. The very breaking point in Revelation 22:17 "The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" It is the very lovesick groan which incurs the vindication of all mankind. Also God feels the way for His bride very much like a physical man feels towards his own bride.
That is all I really have to post right now. Enjoy this tidbit, I hope to be soon getting back to actually tackling more endearing subjects. God Bless!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Exhileration filled every nerve in my body. With a simple syllable everything in the room began to slow down and an existential bliss carried me away. One of the most hallowed four lettered words was uttered and I was indeed left speechless. Nothing in me could deny the excitement, somebody tonight had mentioned "Pogs." They were unleashed and my opponent and I were lost in the glory that became the small disks that belong to Kevin Samuel. The game commenced and times of past fame and joy spin beyond my eyes. Before I knew it I had lost. It was close but the defeat still was bitter. Tonight Tiffany Upton beat me in pogs.

Friday, August 17, 2007

It's Been Awhile

I am happy. Frankly, that is more or less the crux of all I have to say. School started this week which honestly, I was not at all enthused about. Yet my first class has been blowing my mind. This is not in the sense of hearing an amazing sermon or trembling conviction, but it actually feels like a class. For the first time in my FSM career I actually feel like I am in school. The funny thing is that I am a terrible student but I love doing schoolwork, stretching my mind, and being in a place which I can actually engage in some sort of study since I really tend to lack the discipline to do it on my own. I am currently taking Hermeneutics with Karen Schweppler. Not only is it a good class but as supposed to there being a hundred students taking it there are only about twenty. On top of that most of them are my Nightwatch and PR team family. This week we had a debate and my team got the privilege to be the devil’s advocate on the side of universalism. We totally dominated. For the first time I got to throw down with my debate skills in both argument and research. That is one of the few places I actually feel alive if that makes any sense, a smile was definitely left on my face.
On Tuesday my family went out to eat o commemorate the beginning of yet another illustrious school year. At that dinner I receive my new favorite toy, a quacking duck puppet that instead of wings has arms making him look like a retarded frog. It is amazing. As of tonight he will ride in my trunk in order to spread good cheer wherever it may be needed. So far he is the second thing Kacie will get when I die after the Koala lamp. And you can never pass up an opportunity to have some one like Darin Damme shout at full volume outside the prayer room, “SHUT THE DUCK UP!” and then take a second to realize what he just yelled. I have yet to give a name, I will gladly take suggestions.
On top of all of those amazing developments I have to give praise and glory to God and His merciful humility and glorious presence. Last night something hit in the prayer room and the Spirit fell. Amidst a room singing in the Spirit and groaning being called forth I was thrown onto my face. I don’t like talking about my spiritual life/growth/interaction/way I pray but something last night to me to a whole other level I had never been before. I entered into deep intercession, it was great. I don’t understand all that happened but by the end I had tapped into a realm I never had and God pretty much explained what I had been going through for the past year and tied up a lot of loose ends. I left the prayer room giddy as can be and am still feeling a buzz.
That is really all there is to report on. I am currently eating overstuffed pizza rolls and typing on my living room floor and hear bed calling. I wish I was at he PR because from what I have gathered the Thurs 4-6 sets get on the holier side of buckwild. But I am happy pretty much with everything I am at now. It has been a while since I could say that and I am glad this time has come. Tomorrow I have a forest of weeds waiting for me along with some work on my car. Its been a very Shpadoinkle (just think of the amazingnees that word could imply and multiply it by infinite) week.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Again to the Ramblings

So it has come time again to throw down a decent blog. Today has been a perfect cap to a good week. A couple of hours ago I was doing 70 down 71 with the steering wheel in one hand and a QT cup in the other which I was yakking into. So okay, that was by no means a tasteful way to start off a blog, but hey, the experience was one of those things which left me going, “Huh! This is actually happening. Craziness!” I got a lot on my plate as of now. School starts tomorrow, something I have honestly given little thought to but am fairly excited to see how things turn out.
On top of that I am now an up and coming potentially competant sound guy at the JPR. Other than the fact I completely screwed everything up for the morning people on Thursday that has been going well. It is good to actually be involved in something and serve. I really do like the JPR. It has a stripped down grass roots feel. It is a room which is by no means flashy and for the most part completely empty, I love it, I truly do. I enjoy being part of something that actually seems groundbreaking and being somewhat useful, I mean unlike pretty much all my friends who are either musicians or tech people I have been feeling pretty dang useless. Though it is not much I am pretty pumped.
As of tonight I have more or less been given a pink slip from my paper route. The downside is no money. However, this does free me up to be in the prayer room and actually get support raising help which I desperately need. The guy I run it with, Matt, has a friend, Joe, who just moved down here to escape a life of drugs, depression, and the whole nine yards. The friend is more or less taking my place which I am somewhat bummed about but it by no means kills the joy I get from seeing Joe actually come to discover true Life.
I have nothing of theological importance to say. I toyed with writing an entire entry referencing either Sufjan or Flogging Molly but frankly don’t have it in me. I miss listening to Flogging Molly. Drunken Lullabies in my opinion is the most sing-a-longable CDs next to Weezer’s Blue album. Both of those bands need to get saved, that would make me happy. I am weary and am still in my fairly crumbled state and do appreciate those who have been praying for me. It bums me out that I haven’t been able to hang with a handful of people lately but I am happy to finally to get a workable schedule. Things look up. I’m doing on the better side of decent and God is good. Yay.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

A Meager Blog by a Meager Man

Today I woke up and in the midst of the resetting of my alarms on my cell phone I actually missed a call. After stumbling out of bed I mowed 93% of my yard until I ran out of gas and then took the ugly stick to the rest. I rocked out with Danny Hibberd at the Uptown tonight, it was a good solid four hours of non-stop head pounding magic. My hearing may recouperate in a day or two. I did my route while jamming to Rosie Thomas because I needed soft feminine folk to contain the bar-be-que flavored testosterone then leaking out of my every pore. The route finished and I gave away spare papers. And the I found five dollars. (Under the driverside seat in my car, seriously).

It was a good day.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

This One Goes out to the One I Love

This one goes out to the one I left behind. A simple thought to occupy my mind, this one goes out to the one I love. Fire. Overwhelmed by presuppositions the transition of an elemental situation fans the flame of nothing that seems in the slightest bit tangible but leaves the senses on the fritz. Singled out by a wanton lust for the tangible the tears that have soaked into various fabrics have intermingled with a stillness that flirts with the line dividing solace and imagination. Light and darkness being seprate night will soon be no more. He saw and the grand scoope of things falls into retrospect amidst a sea of twenty something peddling poppy rebellion to teeangers. Sure they have been to the lands of violence and seen the inhumanity of the third world and champion for change and the result we get are masses of children screaming at their parents demanding liberty to actual bring "real" change. The messenger has fallen flat on their face amidst the sea of spin doctors and bs-artists. Hope has become nothing more than a dwindling fashion as the pinnacle has sunken into a warm fuzzy nostalgia we all get from my little pony. Years passed and she was only turned into glue and forgotten in the glitter soaked contruction paper that hangs on a proud mother's fridge. The lines are smudged and the heart is clearly portrayed but one is left asking, "But, is it art?" The fumbled attempts of the preschooler I feel are almost as moving as some of the sixteenth century works of art. That and with that I am not left asking "What the obsession was with male genitalia?" and "Shouldn't Jesus be treated with more dignity?" Hoping one day to be Bohemian like you but left wondering what drove the obsession of people to market that which is holy. The stars are out tonight intermingled with drifting clouds that will either disappear or bring life to dry soil. They move eloquently to the sound of the voice who holds all things together. Behind the voice is a groan for justice being held patiently until the fullness of all things comes. In the meantime absence is pursued to escape that which confuses and the home for the humble is the ground we walk. AS empires are brought low He will build from the ground up. David Crowder in the distance sings the contents of his heart joining with the masses and even our beloved Sufjan and one wonders where the divine hand is. It always seems so easy to pick it out on the grand scale than that of the day to day but it is good and it is never sleeping. Angels continue in hallelujah choruses and one day the veil will be torn. Be still and know until then I supposed. Live for the days you can almost taste the fire poruing out of your mouth while ligaments begin to form on dry bones. This is the one thing that I know. Standing forever in a bleak absolution will wither into vanity and despair. Seek the Lord when He can be found, and when your timing is off remember He has never deserted you.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Welcome to August

So I figured that it was about time I blogged again. I am spaced out completely so this will most likely be utterly incoherent but here goes. The past few weeks have been a great rollercoaster of emotions. I mean shoot, I never signed up for any of this but what the hey, God is good and He hates letting us stay in the places we are. I am deeply appreciative of my family and friends who have been a blessing and always have been. It seems most of my life in the past year has been nothing more than me crashing again and again and again. There seems to never be an end only a few short breathers. We all come to a place where we realize that we cannot get what we truly want from people. Once you hit that it is as if oblivion opens up and a million questions shoot out of the ground only to disappear into thin air. God is good.
So often we fail to actually trust God to be good. Well often, we limit it to our definition of good which is nothing more than an overused, unexciting, above par term. He truly does have excellence and splendor to bestow upon His people and He truly does reward those who diligently seek Him. It’s odd, we are far too often prone to see the recompense of God to come in terms of our sinning and neglect that which He has promised to bless. We are justified through our faith. This is by no means is limited to atonement, yet it is clearly part of it, but it refers to the reward of everything we have sown. In His mercy He blots out sin and loves to reward righteousness and faithfulness. In the little things no one knows or no one seems to care He has great reward both on this side and the next for us. I for the longest time was a critic of the whole reward message thinking it only prodded people on in a more spiritual version of the American dream. One can look at a message time and time again and then forget and seem to apply it whenever they choose but it stands true forever.
For the past few months I have been driven by some of my dad’s last words. A few days before he passed away he looked at my mom and said, “All that matters is obedience.” That was followed by a deep sigh and a “Jesus you are so good.” He obeyed all he was led to do, in prayer, in petition, and in taking authority. At the end of the day with no results that is where he stood. It really does sadden me that most of my memories of him are fading with age but in time of crisis, semi – crisis, chaos, it is a phenomenal thing to look back on and be grateful.
Life moves on and God never changes. On another note I enjoy the route I have been running. I am psyched because tomorrow I am hanging out with my buddy Matt Johnson and his friend Joe who just moved down here. We are going to indulge ourselves in one of the greatest movies of all time, Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. And by greatest I mean possibly one of the dumbest but oddly enough I find it more quotable than Wayne’s World and the Grail. Granted the quotes are not that meaningful I mean to call it meaningful would be absurd, even more so than the electoral process. But it does have a place in my heart. Tonight I found out that God gave me a gift, I ush well, I ush very well. I got to put my ushing skills to the test while I was an usher tonight. Granted the testing was not hard but I like to believe I passed with flying colors, I mean my shirt even had yellow in it. So I look at the time and am mildly befuddled why I am not in bed and am writing I personally blame Darin Damme who not once but twice played “Lose Yourself” by Eminem on stage tonight on his bass guitars. Then again I would think just having that occur would solidly usher me off into a dreamy place of euphoric contentment. So that is all from here really. God bless.