The Prodigal Son

Luke 15:11-32 (The Prodigal Son, some thoughts and revelations)

v20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

Upon just the beginning of his return the father bolts out of his door towards his son. A far way off, not within the fence but a far way off. He runs and embraced his son with loving kisses pouring out affectionate kisses on the one who had returned.

21And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'[c] 22But the father said to his servants,[d] 'Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.' And they began to celebrate.

This is the attitude God has towards us. Upon the entering into the kingdom His primary goal is to in fact lavish us with His undying affection and set us as who we really are. To know that yes we are His children, and we are loved. His desire is constantly towards us and He has searched the depths of our hearts and minds and jubilantly has accepted us into the Beloved. He calls for the "Best Robe," a ring and shoes restoring dignity. Also He calls forth the fattened calf and celebration to boisterously expound upon the joy that somersaults in His heart at the very return of the son who had thrown away everything and forsook who He was. He is quick to redeem and does so promptly. All in the household rejoice with loud singing and triumphant jubilation because of this.

25"Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27And he said to him, 'Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.' 28But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29but he answered his father, 'Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!' 31And he said to him, 'Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.'"

The older son became swiftly indignant out in the field. Bitterness rose within a sense of fervent entitlement. With loathing breathes he sulked in misery about not getting his due. He was working for a reward. He was plowing away in the field. This was a large house and place with servants, those who do work. They were brought in so that the fammily would not need to embark on menial toil but flourish together in love, passing on a rich and very deep heritage which the father longed to lavish and pass on to the next generations as a true inheritance. The same goes with our heavenly Father.
We were all astray. We all came back but the thing is many of us have jumped ship into working into the field to earn some sort of reward and inheritance vying for the favor and affection of our heavenly Father hoping for a pat on the back for a few good deeds, a few days fasted, ect. ect. ect.... Yet upon our entering the kingdom His desire is to establish us truly as heirs. Freely we receive therefore we freely give. We earn nothing. We earn no inheritance. He calls us to cast our cares upon Him and embrace our identiy a beloved children of God who are deeply loved. He no longer calls us slaves, but sons, if sons then heirs (Galatians 4:6-7). We call out Abba Father and He responds. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He does not desire slaves but sons and daughters who are about His business.
This only comes about from coming to Him with nothing asking for embrace. We need to learn how to receive. How can we pour out that which we have not received or talk about that which we do not know? This is what you have been made for. He knows your pain, thoughts, fears, desires, and weaknesses along with all of your sin and His desire is for you to come in and be with Him. Working for recompense will lead to only emptiness, jadedness, pain, envy, insecurity, and bitterness. Be still and know He is God. You cannot enter into your full calling until you hear the words, "This is my beloved son (daughter), in whom I am well pleased!" God longs for friends not slaves. Children not butlers or maids. His desire is to love. From that and that alone comes forth the budding kingdom of God!

A Thankful Thimble of Thursday Thoughts

It has been a good day. There is peace for once. I thank God for that. Class was good. PR Team was good, as was prohpecying over a mighty man of God. The prayer room was good, it was good to rest. PFI: tongues got interpreted, words were given and angels were there. Alisha Powell's team as usual was amazing, mad props to Han Man Kim. Kicking it with Darren was rad along with collecting 50 huge worms and putting them in a small QT coffee cup with dreams of fish big in our eyes. Catching up on my own procrastination and staying up way too late hasn't been too bad either, well so far. How the lines have fallen in pleasant places, I can't wait to see where they lead me. God is good and so are my friends, go you. Be blessed. Amen.

Sigh...... I Love Jesus

Riding forth on the anathemas of the archetypes of a dying world comes the rider named faithful and true. Raising a war cry that shines forth in glowing brilliance illuminating the darkest haunts and giving life to every dead plant. With the sunrise He rides forth boldly coming to the cry of His dearly beloved to save her from the death that has her surrounded. Sustained by all consuming zeal He rides with loud shouts of singing backed by the choirs of heaven. Resolute He rides forth with peace burning deep within His jealous eyes. He is our God. He is the one who was slain driven by love so indescribable that even death and Hades fell underneath its triumphing heralds. Bearing the scars of a battle He entered surpassing obligation but out of sheer delight He embraced inscrutable agony and now His time has come. The increase of His government and peace will know no end streaming from Jerusalem to the smallest galaxies in the universe. Commanding love drives Him as patience fuels the pent up affection and rage that rises deep within the heart of He who overcame. For this He is worthy, for this He is given the name above every name and due all glory, praise and honor.
There is a blood that screams louder than the loudest lie. There are tears that falls harder than a pounding monsoon. Justice cries forth in the streets, running to and fro beckoning all the afflicted to come to her healing embrace. She is scorned as groans fill the heavenlies. Death reigns over the multitude as He weeps aloud over the slain of His creation. His love shouts louder than the scars of Baal and the vomit of Ashera. The scars of land and people whored away are covered by this all consuming wave of love. All who enter in are cleaned and fully accepted in the Beloved.

Oh, how He loves us, Oh, how He loves us. Taste and see that He is good. The foundation of His throne is righteousness and justice and mercy pours forth like a raging stream. His promises are yes and amen, truly they are. He has not forgotten His people and calls them to walk fully as ambassadors. Fed on joyous hope we march on laying waste the forces of death, sin, and disease. It is for you, it is for me, may His love abound still more and more consuming the apple of His eye, His radiant and stunning bride.

A Brief Exhortation

The magnitude of the situation is lengthened as light begins to pour even more fervently in. Ever groaning palpitations beat from the unknown warmth that ticks loudly within the cracks of a broken and frail. From the depths of the wellspring of the soul LOVE stirs with tender violence amidst the tremors and posing of the child grasping along the paths of destiny and love. As the fire begins to kindle warm eyes look down from heaven intoxicating the Spirit in a union of bliss and exhilaration. Within the temple war has raged as a word speaks “Peace” silencing the daunting precepts once heavily ingrained into the dying empire of lies. LOVE dwells inside and takes delight in the place He has predestined for Himself to rest in. Despite the frailty of the home from the wellsprings of life the adrenal flow of inexpressible joy goes forth as strength through every capillary of the beloved child.
Every hair is numbered as is every nation in that bucket. Within the drop sheer delight is taken in His children as LOVE calls them forth into the transcendent beauty of their true calling. Inhibitions lay six feet under as the Good Shepherd guides with an overflow of tenderness and compassion resolute to have the riches of His inheritance. He is their strength, He is their reward, He is their unity, and He is peace. Shrouded in humility He lusts after those He predestined and carries the wounded and gently leads those with young. As the dwellers of dust are seated with princes and the barren woman sings for she has been given child the King rides forth to the advancement of the love that thrives in the furthest depths of His being.
Rejoice my brother and dance my sister for you are loved. Inside the arms are the joy and affection that you were birthed for. This is justice, that the King would have His way. His way is for you, poor, lowly and broken to walk as who you are: beautiful, cherished, unique and an heir to the one who spoke all things to being and who invented the concepts of affection and laughter. Oh bride the marriage is on the horizon. The day of the gladness of His heart. He sees you and loves you with delight that goes beyond words and heralds out of the sovereign blood once shed.
The kingdom suffers violence and the violent take it by force may his violence consume you and drive out all fear so you may drink deep of the pleasures forevermore and walk as one who is their Beloved’s and the Beloved is theirs. Through this comes the advancement of the Kingdom. The uprising is not through wholesale and well articulated propaganda but through the very whispers of LOVE. Bellow it from the steeples and ride forth. The LOVE that existed before time lies within you. Rest in His arms and sleep in His bed, there is a design for what He did and said.
Be loved beloved, this is your strength and this is your calling to overflow superfluously from the fountain of delight and tears of the Almighty with all confidence and joy. Oh beautiful ones He will finish what He began until all that is left is faith, hope, and love. The greatest of these being love. We march on laying hold of the journey into the heart of the Triune dance knowing that we have not been forgotten and that we will never be alone. Despite abject despondancy and the swirl of voices and feelings that pull every which way the Lord will swiftly come to all who call on His name and wait for His glorious presence and jubilant return.

A New Hope (or Chewbacca's Solo Mission)

Today was a good day. To warn you this may end up being a somewhat lengthy post, be it I have not yet mapped anything out I had a really good day and I frankly feel kind of like preaching. So my beloved readers, and yes I adore all of you who read from the utter depths of my fledgling heart, here is a peek at what has been going on. I most likely will be vaguely candid on issues I generally skirt but hey, enjoy.

Yesterday was a good day. I just thought I would get that out of my way. I wept heavily for the first time in a good long while. To be a little open with my crowd, God has been in a place of bringing up my darkness and pain in order to open the eyes of my understanding, that I may know the hope of my calling, the glorious riches of His inheritance and His exceeding power towards me who believes and well even doubts at times, a lot of times. I need a father. I lack direction and I have been seeking identity in a vacuum scared out of my mind with no direction and feeling the futility of my own scraping fall to dust and incompletion, well a lot of them. I need to know the Father’s love and well let Him provide for me and drop Atlas and the world from my back I thank you friends who encouraged me. I due and I cannot express enough the gratitude I have in my heart for those who have fought for me and continue to do so, God will reward you, deeply.

Yesterday left me with a lot on my mind i.e. dealing with identity, emotional longings across the board, the future, and well life and God. You know, all of the short concise questions which within12.7 seconds can all be answered by Wikipedia. I mean shoot, that isn’t much, LOL(ok so honestly it has been a good solid year and a half since I have actually typed that and I know that eyes were rolled at its usage but hey, where would we be today without acronyms, IHOP would be sunk). But anyway, tangent aside God has been carrying me in this haze lightly soaking me with hope. Today the three main contributors were men of God who I consider a full honor to know, be with, and befriend: Kevin Samuel, Matthew Johnson, and Joshua Forrey.

Starting with Kevin. We got together at about 5:30ish and rocked out the Antique Furniture Mall (Joe’s Town to the newer crowd) and we found a couple of really comfy chairs two feet in front of a large bureau with nice glasses and an array of Lord of the Rings posters in it. After that we skedaddled over to Sam’s for some food and we just talked. Kevin has some mad depth, I mean for real, God has given him vision birthed deep. Through the laughs and the tears (not really tears) God nudged me to look somewhat up and catch once again another glimmer of hope. Right now if you don’t mind throw up a blessing for Kevin, it would be rad.

So after going home and enjoying some Spongebob with my little bro I went over to my buddy Matt Johnson’s and we caught up with each other on life. It had been a real long time since we had talked and it was good. I like to see the way God moves outside of my own little sphere in His various divine ways. He knows us all and He cares for us all. I mean there is not a sparrow who He doesn’t see fall how much more the one’s He made in His own image let alone His children. I mean He is faithful. That and we played some video games for awhile. I have never been big into playing anything and it had been a long time since I had sat down to play anything but it was good. Some Bond game for X-Box that was just fun. Video games and scintillating conversation about the Almighty, I was a fan. If you can please throw up a quick prayers for Matt, he needs to be blessed gosh dang-it.

Moving on to the next event, Josh. I thank God for this guy, I mean honestly he is a good friend and God has ridiculously blessed me by just knowing this guy. We conversed as we often do, about God, life, the future, and well ‘love and whatnot.’ Anyhoo, throughout the nights events which included meeting a believer who worked at Wal-Mart named Abraham (he is an Indian man who loves Jesus and stocks shelves and if you are ever in there and see him you should rush to bless his socks off), we moseyed to my casa and watched some Fraggle Rock, FTFNF with the crew and watching American Tale (Fiefel Goes West), and kicking it at the ‘Bucks God intermingled with our words as to each of us hope was imparted. I mean honestly, I have been going to God regarding certain things in my life and throwing them at His feet and in turn growing deeper in God. It was something that I have never thought of but God gives voices in your life to truly exhort and to love on ya with. It is not sin at all but things that demand wisdom in order to well fully engage with. Amidst my fear, crap, anxiety, questions, and uncertainty regarding them I have been driven directly into my Father’s huge arms of love. Through all of the workings in my heart and the longings, pullings, wonderings I have found one thing and that is God cares. I mean He knows us. He knows each one of our thoughts, longings, and questions. He knows the demons we still need dragged out of us the deep wells of pain which we have for too long been terrified for Him to probe and heal. He cares and He is so gentle with His children. I mean I am grateful. Throughout 7 or so hours of just talking and actual well, fellowship, I am left with peace resolved even more in the midst of the haze. It was good. I mean a really good night. Right now you should probably pray a blessing over Josh and his apartment they really could use it, I mean a heck of a lot. They are good guys and it would be rad of you to bless them.
So that was a lot, for the few who are still actually reading this God has been hitting me with something really cool lately and I want to expound briefly, I say briefly because I understand the concept of attention spans and I am also really really tired, I am looking forward to the voice of Gobo Fraggle lolling me to sleep in about twenty minutes. Anyway, here goes:


And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. Revelation 12:11

So amidst the battle in which looms in front of us, the one raging on around and in us, and the grand drama that is beginning to unfold like a flower about to bloom we went and yearn to overcome. I mean we do not want to fall away and perish but live confident in the day in which Christ is fully revealed and we are fully transformed into the likeness of our Beloved, Jesus Christ. What holds the authority is His blood which has reconciled all things and conquered death and our testimony. This is not vision that is being preached. This is not mere convictions but the actual declaration of the Son of God through the knowing of a man and entering into an active relationship with the Beloved in whom we believers are in fact accepted in. It comes from the conversations and the contemplation of knowing someone. We will not overcome speaking of a love in which we have never known and He beckons us forth into Him through His word and actual relationship. Amidst the brokenness and fear that grips our depths in Him do we find peace and we testify not just to the addiction which we were delivered of but of the place we have been seated and the kingdom to come in which He bore the full cup of wrath for every individual to enter into.

These are just a few thoughts on that. My brain is friend and the sonnets coming from my pillows are drawing me away. You are loved. My brothers and my sisters in Christ you are accepted and He loves you with a love which testifies louder than all doubt and darkness. Give your wounds to Him and let Him carry you. The burden of clarity and resolve will crush you unless you rest in His arms and cast all your cares on Him. God knows you deeper than even you do and every ounce of His attention and affection is directed directly to you and will see you through. He loved you to the end and the end is yet to come. Be loved and bless you all who have fought for me and stood with me.

On a side note, peace is only found in Christ Jesus, if you have found me through an obscure search engine or my old xanga or myspace and do not know Christ know that without Him the misery will only grow without him and the torment will only increase after death. You were made out of His longing to be enjoyed. In Him is peace and He can overcome every weakness in you for He holds the keys to death and Hades. Call out to Him and He will make Himself known.

*This post has been brought to you in part by the music of Ray Barbee and Paco de Lucia. Blessings all around.

A Journally Thing

So here we are. The vast abyss ahead of me is becoming to be more comforting than threatening. I mean I see no path, I have no real direction but on I plod. Day in and day out, blind monotony hoping for the best. I know I am not alone in this and I know that God is in control but it would be great to see a few things. Words have fallen to echoes as the mind gets refurbished and fumigated. Despite the loud hacking it has been a nearly pleasurable experience. The heart pounds for love but the pride says no, because of what the heart is longing for, I'm not sure, I'm not sure I wanna be a man anymore....... Okay not really I just like Blindside and haven't heard that song in forever.
The heart pounds and aches. Spiritual, physical, the yearnings more or less converge into one scream lacking any real guide post but God is faithful, I am pretty sure, thats what He tells me anyways. Obscurity and longing all over the place. Patience is honestly a drag because frankly I would love to be at a place in which I am somewhat mature enough to enter into things my heart and soul cry out for.... looking for an off switch has just been a waste of time. But He is faithful and His word is life.
I am His child whom He adores. He knows my thoughts, feelings, desires, pains, troubles, dreams, weakness, and is still entirely for me. This isn't just like some fan drinking a beer hooting at a TV screen watching their team actually make a touchdown, (Joe Gibbs I want something in return for all these years, come on.....); but He is a Father and a Husband and a Good friend who is absolutely absorbred in who we are with an unyielding affection for us. I mean He is good. I mean, if this was something I could plug in my head and all of a sudden know and embrace wholly that would be great. But I know this God does not screw us over. We are not His playthings He messes with to get a laugh. He cares, He truly does. He is good and I ache inside for about a billion things, err... maybe a handful but still He is good. He will finish all He started and yeah, Thank You God!!

Despite the insecurity and uncertainty
He is faithful when I am faithless
May He be strong in my weakness
Blessed be the name of the LORD

Room 238 - early beginnings

I am beginning to write a story, you can follow it at http://room-238.blogspot.com

Thursday Club (or A Really Good Day)

So I am going to say that today has been by far the best day I have had in such a long time, do not get me wrong I have had some good days, but today was Ridiculously amazing, and that is ridiculously with a capital “R”.

So for starters, today was pretty crappy at first, I mean uber lame. I got up to go to the prayer room and had some attack, realized it was an attack, fought and ended up walking over to Valley View to see if I had enough money for some coffee. So I mosey on over there and I run into Austin Roberts at the ATM and we ended up getting coffee at the Grounds of the Higher variety. After chatting for an hour and a half I had to head on over to class but God messed me up something fierce in that convo and throughout the remainder of this glorious night of wonder, and here is a taste my loyal fans:

So get this, we are loved. I mean we are really, really loved. I mean we are utterly adored by the same very being who came up with the idea of affection, laughter, joy, and not to mention dinosaurs and echidnas. I mean we, people, we created out of the overflow of a joyous harmony of bliss, excitement and love. He who is love is the very one who holds all things together with the power of His Word and everything consists in, through, and for Him. I mean wow, seriously, think about that. God, the one who created bubbles, penguins, walruses, and music is the one who made you out of just the very desire to fill you with His marvelous wonder and have you get lost infinitely within the beloved with whom His children/bride are accepted in. I mean, seriously, upon making the first man (check out Genesis 2:7-9) He breathed (which as I am told was not far off but as close as a kiss, it makes sense but don’t hold me verbatim) into man and he had life. He then proceeds to make a garden specifically for man to dwell in; God did this for no other creature. It then goes on to say that in it were planted every tree that was good to the sight. I mean, thought and effort went into this and this was the place man communed with God, worked, and was with his wife.
I mean a whole lot comes into the story but more or less, God really likes people, a lot…. For more peruse, meditate, and gnaw savoringly on Ps 8 and 139 and John 17. I mean He likes us a heck of a lot. The thing is that is where we are going. The bride entering into the Godhead. Fullness of joy and pleasures forever more are our inheritance as we get lost into He who is. I mean think of all of the amazing and pretty things this life holds, how much more amazing will the next one be. Don’t get me wrong the whole no marriage thing I don’t get but I am sure by the end of this life I will, if not shoot, God is good and my finite mind cannot even attempt to depict how heaven might even smell, I bet fabulous. Seriously.

Ok so I went to class and we watched a video on revivalists and had some healing along with a test, and for the first time ever signs and wonders seemed attainable, I mean I am really psyched, they are things which I am free to pursue and chase after, let alone you who are reading this, I mean God has great things for you and He loves people.

Also in class this guy gave a testimony about no longer being afraid of God and I was totally pumped, primarily because I had been praying for him for a couple months now and I love to see people be loved, I mean its what we were made for and its where we find our security… not to say I have found great depths, I’m still on a journey but God is good.

So the prayer room was great, the Finland Five is always a grand kick start to any night, I am not going to lie. Jesus is coming and He is raising up a witness to Him and the kingdom to come, it is all driven through love and will be established in unity. We will love one another and our joy will be full as the body moves as one bearing witness to what we have all corporately seen, heard, and handled with our hands according to the Word of Life…. I am thrilled, I mean we get to lay waste to the kingdom of darkness, be consumed in love, become one with our Savior and walk into the grace given to become one with Him in joy and suffering.

On separate note, I really love my prayer room team. I have such a privilege to get together with and I thank God for the friends He is raising up around me, He answers prayer and I am thankful.

PFI time came around and myself and the gang got in the Travail Room and began to pray in tongues for our hour. It turns out that in that time my buddy got some serious deliverance. Then another girl in there got in on it and we were in the room for about two and a half hours. It made me so happy. God has been ripping some things out of me the past couple months and I am so thankful of the work He is working in me, I mean He does make all things new and He is so kind and compassionate and tender with us. The entire result is so that we can enter deeper into love and His heart so I love it.
I was so happy for both of the people tonight, it makes me so happy what God does and how He leads His sheep and how He loves His kids so much, I mean I left that time really ecstatic. Another thing I just want to say, Katherine Kasper is like one of the most amazing people ever, I mean ever. She’s got mad depth and has uber wisdom and authority, I am really glad to have big sisters like her, seriously.

Moving on the prayer room finished the 4-6 out with a bang. There is just something about Alisha Powell singing songs about God and goodness and Jesus that just makes you want to celebrate good times, come on. I mean with half of the room bouncing around in that small marked off area was amazing, I like God, a lot, not just a little but a whole stinkin’ lot.

After that I went to Chick-fil-A with Josiah and Dave from my PR team. Those are two very amazing guys and I think pretty much anybody and everybody would benefit greatly from hanging out with those two more, that is just my opinion. I love Chick-fil-A and I love coupons for free food.

After that I came home and began to type this, took a shower and am now finishing this whilst listening to Sufjan Stevens. Upon closing this I will go to bed with a smile know how great God is and pursuing the befuddling adventure of Uncle Traveling Matt (God bless you Charity Bates). So yeah, be blessed, even more so if you read all of this. I will get back to writing serious stuff soon, I promise, but today was a really good day and I felt it needed to be chronicled.

*Random note: Someone should redeem Fatboy Slim's "Praise You"

Some Words

These pixels are empty
Lagging musings of a discontent
Distracted mind and a
Lovesick heart
With a heavy emphasis on sick

By no means is this an attempt
To forge a style
Or be creative but merely
An expression of the duldrums
Which crash to and fro
In my very thick skull

My words are empty
Convictions formless
As my heart beats for what is not proper
Propriety never being an issue it seems
Until it hurts
Or you have to get off the couch

My words are empty and opinions hollow
The light that flickers
Needs to rage within the eyes of mine
And out the fingertips

To the few who read this I ask for prayers
I need truth
I need truth to burn inside with violence
I need violence to consume me
The violence of truth that is

Be blessed
All of you
Enjoy the silence
Be loved deeply by God
He knows what you just said
He knows what you yearn for
He knows the stuffed animals you still sleep with...

Yeah I am talking to you
Go team

Anyhoo,
I guess this has no longer become serious but a vent
I just said "but"
Verbally that could have been funny
Anyways.... let truth blaze and let love glow
Its better than a bonfire in Siberia

Waves of Uncertainty

Be still my soul
You are not in control
Release your reigning grip
Allow me to soar

Calm down my soul
You are not in control
Salvage the sinking ship
Give God the oar

Rest my soul
You are not in control
Still the quivering lip
Your Father has so much more

Rejoice my soul
You are not in control
He hears whats behind your lip
Lean in and be carried to shore

Just a Thought

Tonight was wonderful. There was joy, rejoicing, prayer and Jesus. I am quite a fan of all of those elements. In the past couple of weeks there has been much talk of revival, and I believe that it is coming, being that no one I know really has any grid for it, especially myself, it will come a lot sooner than we expect. Amidst the solemn assemblies and prayer meetings, which for the record were amazing and very much needed, what was even more powerful to me was the way the night ended out. The set did not have much buzz about it, the prayers were not that heavy, and it for the most part audibly was much like any other set that Alisha Powell may have led. Here was the thing though, people prayed for joy, I mean more than one, I think atleast five people referenced joy in their prayers and a handful more hit hard the whole need of love, Eph 3:16-19, revival's crux, atleast in my opinion.
I have not seen many signs and wonders, I am totally down and I believe that myself and many of my cohorts will be operating in them within the next couple of years. Yet the kingdom is not built on this, it is love and meekness. I feel that tonight was a beautiful kiss from God regarding His people who He loves dearly. It is my stirring now that as Jesus is on His way along with catastrophe, judgment, and revival that above all we become rooted and grounded in the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge and drive out all fear while conquering a multitude of sins, this is the hingepin I feel of the kingdom. In all your getting get wisdom, remember though that without love wisdom is nothing more than a clanging gong or a horrible cliche from a Three Ninjas movie.

Be blessed
He is coming
Love Him with all your heart, mind, soul and strength
Love is light and pierces the depths
Good friends are transparent, the same goes for the Bridegroom and His

He loves you so much and is so proud of you, the mundane service will return in oceans of blissful delight in time of pain, remeber, that you are your Beloved's and He is yours.

An Honest Blog - Like the Stuff Normal People Do

So, this is going to be like what I gather most blogs are, incessant ramblings to pass the time and hopefully, get some feedback. I just wanted to forewarn you faithful few in case you were expecting some pseudotheological prose or poetry, or even commentary I guess.... well ok I most likely will bring up God, He is frankly amazing, mind you the word frankly comes nowhere close to anything describing the ammount of awesomeness God entails, but hey its an adjective I like and minus the "ly" can be a very commanding name, like a hard as nails police chief or a smug auto mechanic with a heart of gold, plated the inside is really justr zinc. So if you are still reading you might notice that that was a very long sentence, quite long even. Since I am not doing this on word you my friend get to partake inside what may come to be unstructured mayhem, congratulations! For bonus points point out my typos and let me know, its not just words but a game, HooRay!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, I am pretty spaced. The 8 to ten intercession set was rather draining, it was heavy. In regards to revival I know I can get pretty psyched up on an event and well wait for my comissioning in which I am healed of everything, have my life set forth in front of me, be laid down with commanding power, and within a week get engaged and start my now new and glorious life as a better Christian, one with fire!!!!! Well ok, I have fire in me. It burns every now and then and is tended by the Word, the Holy Spirit and my own obedience. I guess it has been a life of reading too many comic books expecting to one day get struck by some divine light, hear my calling and rush forth to save the day, for God, definitely for God, not for my own gloryat all, all for Him, I mean I have no say in having commanding presence, a voice that swoons and shakes crowds, a gorgeous wife to love, and to have a life in which I lead a successful minisitry to the most pained rejected including junkies and hookers in which during the end times a storm of the antichrist's soldiers burst into my church in the middle of a gut wrenching sermon and gun me down as I boldy confess my beliefs in front of them while asking God in my last breaths for their salvation which in turn they receive right after I die and get a high five from God. I mean no selfish ambition or plans of my own at all. I mean lets get real, we all have these fantasies, I mean yours most likely is not at all like mine, maybe it is, go team! The point of that is that we have no honest grid for the workings of God. Frankly (what a wonderful word) this is not our end purpose.
I mean, the end result of all we do is to be deeply in love with God and absorbed with passion for our Creator and our Family. I don't understand this in the slightest way, but its what God has been tellign me and therefore it must be true. I mean currently I am getting so many other things on my mind than just becomming Jesus. For starters girls, I mean they are pretty, its true. I am nowhere in a place for pursuing anyone but I want a wife and a family really, really, badly. Yet I am a 19 year old kid who still doesn't know who he is or what he is doing, lety alone the fact that I need to do some serious growing up regardless of who may be stuck in my head.
Secondly my future. Who am I? Why???? Aaaaah?!!??!? So to be honest I am not that stressed, I should be stressed but I am not, I'm partially stressed about not being stressed but that is about it. I mean my mind wanders there alot but it is nothing but plain old wandering, nothing really productive. But I know my life isn't mine, my calling isn't mine, and God knows when and what proper procedure is, therefore I stare almost blankly into the future holding an invisible hand and hearing a voice in my gut or in my head and trustin that they are right. God likes me, that much I am pretty sure but I need to grow and be diligent so thats what I'm trying to do now.
Thirdly my friends, to be honest, most of the people I know outside of IHOP in KC and Richmond are headed straight to hell and there seems to not be a thing I can do about it, when I even remember. Yet God cares, and constantly weeps for them and I don't. The only place to find love is in intercession and praying in the Spirit it seems since basically most contact has been erased as of now. He cares and hears, He is the God who hears and answers prayer. Repeat that sentence out loud a couple of times it will do you good, it helps me atleast.
Anyway those are my arena's of things I do not need to be carrying now. It is all about love, and most importantly beyond seeing angels and causing limbs to grow I and we need love. Love is the wellspring of life. Jesus was driven by love, not obligation. He healed out of love not pride. He died for love not to prove a point. He conquered death for love, not for kicks. I need God badly. This feels very unannointed and compared to the other stuff I write which at the end of the day is just semi annointed (I hope) words. Love. Be loved, beloved. Drink, eat, and fervently consume love. There is where peace is found. So God likes you, and He is a fan of me. Love is not a cold grimace hiding a mind whipping a heart for being a failure. Lay to waste the darkness and be quick to forgive, pursue love and you will find your home. How else can we be citizens of the kingdom of LOVE.
Anyway......... thats all I got. Its fun to process here, I mean Micah seems to be leading a pretty good set now, I could be pacing and babbling wondering about Clay's setlist and dreading my agreement to go to the airport with Forrey this morning. A guy just sneezed, I don't know his name but I'm sure God would honor a blessing sent his way right now. So that is enough of that, God bless you friend(s).

Hmmmm

Befuddled, that is a fun word, so is betwixt. That is all.

He Who Is Worthy To Tred The Winepress

He was flung like the opening pitch of the World Series into the stone pit. Bruised and out of breath He lays there embracing the cup that He chose to bear. In climbed His Father, almost emotionless in His face as pain flared in the back of His burning eyes. The Father lifted His foot and dropped it with force onto His Son’s chest. The Son sputtered, coughing up blood as agony writhed through His entire frame. The space was confined, a dingy wine press, painted white and often used for grapes. The spicket was open ready to receive, the overflow of wine that was about to be trod.
There is a brief second after the first blow, plans and preparation had brought them there, the Spirit of Love held them together as the air ran thick with betrayal. Another blow. This time it is to the head cracking the skull, letting scarlet run down an already agonized forehead. Another and another blow came as the Father’s feet fell heavily on His beloved Son. Amongst the bitter cries in anguish not a single complaint was uttered from the Son as His strength was spent writhing in a pool of His own blood. The Father above Him losing none of His focus began to stomp with all of His might.
His robes were immersed in crimson as the fullness of anger was unleashed upon His humble and willing Son. Pain. Pain. All there is to describe is pain. Agony and torment riddle every scream as the Son becomes a pulpy mass. In His blurred vision He sees His creation; His hearts begins beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings. He longs for them, as does His beloved Father. Redemption drives the eternal bond of love as the Father drops His foot again onto the Son’s head, another blow laden with wrath.
It goes on for hours as the level rises. Broken bones become paste while nerves shoot off in excruciation. He is all alone as He becomes one with the liquid He lies in. The Father taking tortuous pleasure in the crushing of His only Begotten continues stomping in fury for what seems hours. The wine pours forth and drains into vats marked “JUSTICE.” The vats are many and seem to keep coming as they are filled with the wine being made. It takes three days to drain, every drop collected as the wine press empties itself completely.
The Father sees His Son laying there and picks Him up. Life bursts froth from the Son as the Father plants a heavy kiss on His Son’s forehead. “Well done My Beloved Son.” The alienation fled as the union of the Love that passes knowledge flows once again between them, scars remaining declaring Lordship over heaven and earth. LOVE beats strong within the dance of Radiant Affection while the blood cries out to have its inheritance.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. - 1 Peter 2:24

Who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. - Philippians 2:6-11

Who Are You

Hear your knees give way as you fall face first into the mud. There you lay, covered in filth as the ever heavy burden lies upon your fragile shoulders. Breathe in and taste the earth as the voice above your shoulder cracks the whip into your now bleeding ears. You cannot hear a thing; say for the failure that has overwhelmed you. Stuck in the drudge of sin and failure strengths flies away life trash coming out of a car window on the highway. Filth has overcome you are even your eyes become stained and marred.
This is not who you are. His yoke is easy and His burden is light, the frame you carry it with folds underneath the immensity of its weight. Do not build your kingdom, do not mark your claim, find no satisfaction on the ground you tread. This is not who you are. Succumbing to a walking corpse each stagger is limp and wrought with incompletion. This is not who you are. Fear besets the hints of condemnation that the frame pours out like sweat in a sauna, every pour covered and breathing becomes a hallmark moment tucked back into the recesses of your hollow imagination.
Awaken my brother, awaken my sister, awaken myself to who you are. Your place is at the right side of you Maker, absorbed in the power and majesty of your Beloved. This world is not your home and the kingdoms you see and the kingdoms of your flesh are not the place of your citizenship. We are princes and princesses, full of might and strength through He who overcame death and is the Captain of our salvation. Royalty flows inside your blood as you wander as a stranger in a desolate and pain consumed land.
The Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells within you, death has been conquered and calls you to awaken to who you are. You are loved, enjoyed, the object of ineffable indescribable affection. Your strength lies within the joy of the ever laughing ever rejoicing triune God of wonder. This is who you are.
You were born for legislation, to command and conquer. Your mission is to lay waste all that hinders love. Who you are has been cloaked and sealed in a perpetuity of lies shrouding the blood that once purchased you. We walk in the way of the cross taking the communion of joy mixed with suffering for the blood alone turns the wheels of history. We are soldiers of love, warriors whose message may lack eloquence but drips of the insatiable dissatisfaction of the status quo. Set higher above the burning ones our dwelling is in the city where the streams of its river make glad.
This is who you are, a son, a daughter of the Living God who is high above all of creation. In Him alone is fear gone and the monkey of condemnation stripped off of your back. War is raged through the song that bounds through your heart praising He who is worthy of all power, strength, glory, and worship. Snatch others from hell as we take prisoner the enemy bringing them into the glory and joy of salvation, the eternity set within the bitter, evil, confused, and pain filled existences. This is who you, built on the Word of life, cleaned by the river of life, containing the glory of the one who is holy. Marked “Holy unto the LORD,” identity calls you forth.

Isa 33:17 Your eyes will behold the king in his beauty; they will see a land that stretches afar.

Psa 46:4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.

Eph 2:19 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God…

A Striking Revelation

My hands are dripping with blood as I raise my head a few inches. The heat on my face intensifies as I see my opponent in front of me, glaring with hatred at everything he sees. I pick the glass of my now numb hands, remains of a mirror I have for so long been striking. He laughs at me as I wince with each piece being torn away, my nostrils only flair larger. For too long I had succumb to lies, death my old nemesis dangles a friendship band we at one point both shared, that time is over, long over. He holds the mirror in front of me, mangled like squirrel in a wheat thresher. The sweat comes off of my brow entering a cut, the sting feels as nothing as I reach for the blade on the ground reflecting the moon and bringing light to a once oblivious fool. Within seconds I grab it and thrust it through its throat, his cackle turns to a gurgle as the pupils in his already leery eyes turn bloodshot. Pain envelops the whimpers he pathetically makes while his heavy knees hit the ground with a great thud. He desires no mercy. He just burns with fury and anger, in dying seconds lurching forward to devour what he can of my flesh. As he inches closer fires rages out of my stomach consuming everything that stood in front of me. Warmth filled me like hot cocoa or a stiff drink, heat wrapped itself around my heart like a coat made of down and Kevlar. Safety set in my eyes as LOVE enveloped me. The ashes of my foe slowly fly away in the distance intermingling with the song birds swooping overhead. A rooster crows, dawn is on its way.

We love because He first loved us. John 4:19

I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades. Revelation 1:18

A Heavy Sigh... (followed with periods for heaviness effect)

Come to me Oh God
As my being screams to You
Meet me in this lurid place
Awaken the eternity that dwells within
Hidden mystery and light ineffable

I cry out in desperation
Running from distraction the smile haunts me
As the workmanship of Your hand
Of Your beautiful bride dances
Amidst the swirl of disarray

The voice haunts me as I flee to find Your face
As years of distraction cash in their chips
Beauty and joy alone
Are birthed within Your dancing heart
Take me there I pray

Poetic jargon dulls my tongue
Yet all that flows out is but lukewarm verse
Bearing my arm to the fellow eyes
Disdain lingers in the back of my already
Palpitating throat

Love and delight flows from Your gaze
Your life flows from all You made
Especially the princess who resonates
The glory of your radiantly creative
Illustrious week

Consume me with Your eyes that burn
Deeper than the whites of my own
Your gaze is what tears me apart with longing
To have the very wellspring of life
Beat within my own heart

Bless You Oh God for there is none like You
As Psalms have become clichés
May Your song beat within me
And hold Your precious one in Your arms of love

I Like God 2 - The Sequel

Bless the LORD Oh my soul and all that is within me. Praise be to the LORD God my rock and my Creator. You formed me and you made me, fearfully and wonderfully and you rejoice madly over even my smallest eyelash. None can compare with your matchless beauty, Oh, you who made the dinosaurs and kittens fluffy; to You and You alone, Oh God, belong all praise. You are timeless, changeless, and infinite in you splendid magnanimous jaw-droppingly, heart twitterpating beauty my God whose very face puts the sun to utter shame. Brightness and countless majesty bursts forth from your hand as your humble love cascades over waterfalls and through the cosmos as You lower your thunder to mere whispers and wash our feet. There is none like you, may all tremble at the beauty of Your holiness, you are fairer than, other than, transcendent in beauty, set apart from the start you stand alone….. You who speaks through your beloved servants and echo from the vocal cords of men like Clay Edwards. I adore you. I long for you and your kingdom for the sweet fragrance of your ubiquitous aroma sweeter than roses and barbeque, you lay siege to every sense ripping it from the cognizance and leave even the most verbose of personages speechless and the great minds to succumb the dross of Beavis and Butthead. Who can comprehend your ways Oh high and might Judge for justice is the foundation of you commanding throne of dominion. Blessed be Your name, Your words, Your people, Your will, and even Your toes my king, my beautiful and remarkable king. Behold and bless the LORD you who minister at night. Within the shroud of darkness become ravaged by the unapproachable light letting it lay siege to every part of the cancer that lays within. Your plan shatters tanks and crushes the futility of modernity as You laugh at those who wage war against You.
Words aside, let me tell You what God. I want to see you right now grab you and give you the biggest and longest kiss more passionate than Bugs ever gave to ol’ Elmer. You are magnificent. I love You, let me tell you, I love You. Your roar makes Mufasa sound like a prepubescent girl shrieking. There is none like You my beautiful Beloved. Oh’ how You love me, so much that it leaves me babbling nonsense. Kiss me with the kisses of your mouth, Your love is more delightful than wine. When You are done I won’t wipe off the glossy residue the grace on Your lips layered on me. I am not gonna lie. I love You. You changed the times and the seasons, even as the shroud grows You are not deterred and the flowerbed of Your affection blossoms with even deeper ferocity making the hanging gardens look and smell like a mighty landfill, with plastic bottles and Styrofoam sticking out of the muck. You are good, You are God. Daddy, Beloved, and Living Flame of Immaculate Radiant Light, shining forth brighter than a thousand lightbrites and illuminating even the darkest obsidian, blessed be Your Name Oh God, blessed be Your spectacular name!

It has been awhile, but I burn inside, praise be to God through Jesus Christ His glorious Son through the Comforter. Grace, peace, and joy be to all who read through the afore mentioned names. Be blessed!

The Feast of Kings

The sun cracks from its lair birthing illumination to the world lying in darkness. Dawn trickles in like rain through a leaky window tantalizing every link of the spectrum. Roosters crow in the distance as a new day bursts forth with vigor and light. Song birds carol in the lightly blowing wind as they soar above the dew soaked earth. Life has entered into a Kodak moment, one more precious than even old Walt could imagine. Breathing in the fresh morning mist a conquest teeters on the brink of embarking. Mind locked and coffee brewing steady hands run their course. Firm and set they forge beauty as a trained eye guides. A renaissance of culinary brilliance emerges as cars start in the distance, stress has all but left. Partaking of euphoric sustanence I can feel the light awakening in my eye, the strength of the day at last. Surging through my frame is taste so indescribable that words cannot suffice. Cinnamon Toast Crunch, its the taste you can see.