"God, Damn It!" and Other Misconstrued Prayers

Her eyes never failed. She didn’t need corrective surgery nor did she need glasses or contacts. There was no color blindness involved or any confusion to the matter. Just six years old and she could identify the blood on the wall along with the weeping in the other room. Both belonged to her mother. She would say that there was something different about the night but the routine was still the same. Her father came home piss drunk and beat the crap out of her mother. The cycle continues until she is punching bag material and her hat gets thrown into the ring.
Here comes the question, why, why in any good, decent, or even reasonable world would this happen. I mean anyone who tries to methodically give an explanation might as well come off as a world class prick at the sight of her scars and two aborted children. I mean what a douche, who would over look the great pain that was afflicted and nonchalantly write it off. I mean she should get whatever she wants just to make up for the travesty. She lives her life bitter and sullen and then dies. As a tear filled eulogy is given she is being tormented in the bowels of hell.
I mean I should cut right there and sell this scene to Hallmark. Or at least CBS could make a made for TV movie staring Judy Dench as the mother. I cringe at writing this but honestly none of this should be taken lightly at all. Yet the scenario happens time and time again that after a hint of another occurrence the halls of decency cry out, “How can this happen?” and “Where is God?” As a white middle class American male who was raised in a fairly healthy home I honestly have no say whatsoever in this matter. I have no place to relate or even imagine the pain which was inflicted. Nor do I know how I would even react to such a situation.
Days pass and the question continues to thrive. God is good right? I know my own pain and am currently blocking out everything I feel that is screaming torment within me right now. I mean hell, it sucks. But it by no means is a comparison to the mass tragedy that takes place mere blocks away.
In the last days we will se visions more vivid than sunsets, brighter than stars and we will recognize each other and see ourselves for who we truly are. When all is said and done we are wicked in nature and violence begets violence. Innocence is all too often raped away and the cycle continues as most cycles do.
He sees and He judges. There is a day appointed for wrath. I speak of this as if I understand it with any clarity. I mean honestly in my own time I tragically stare at happiness which seems constantly held at arms length from me. I mean it’s how most often feel. Nothing ever makes up for that which is incomplete. I mean shoot, I just compared my problems to someone who was abused, beaten, and raped. I might as well be playing the Rolling Stones Sympathy for the Devil at full volume now.
Logic in the end will fall short. All remains in faith. This is the substance of things hoped for. Substance being something that actually exists and is to a degree tangible and hope is that which is known for certain. I mean I write this with scrutiny firing off in my own head. I honestly demand inside a grasp on every situation in its entirety. My current mood is torn between singing praises and screaming profanity. Its how the cookie crumbles I guess.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight. I could make arguments up and down. I could expound on how suffering correlates between our capacity to feel love and through it we enter into a deeper communion with the Almighty. I believe that, I mean it is the flicker that shoots off in my head when the ache blows into a migraine but what precedent do I have in saying any of it. We gaze now at a mirror that is dim and more so contorts what is seen instead of bringing total clarity. As we move on clarity begins to unfold brighter than a meadow full of sunflowers. I would have lost hope unless I had not believed I would see the goodness of God in the land of the living.
The sun right now is coming up and the couple in front of me is enjoying a hearty breakfast with a side of menthols. The green car directly in front of this restaurant is missing a window and has been replaced by several layers or poorly translucent tape. The waitress continues her days as more fleeting conversations come in and out of the now brother franchise of Applebees. Well amidst the contorted babble and useless jargon preceding this almost pointless and obligatory sentence I have this to say, the movement of the earth and the progression of time is more often ignored than perceived and truth is more often forgotten than sought or even retained. The sun is coming up on the sub-ghetto Truman Corners and the fading paint on the once prominent establishments will fade to yet another shade lighter. In liturgy, litigiousness, jargon, rhetoric, and all around BS we have lost security in everything. One word stands true in the heavens; that is the Word of God. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everything were meaningless. But everything is so meaningful, and everything turns to crap. Rejoice. Entropy is inherent and there is life only in one man, Jesus Christ.