The Prodigal Son

Luke 15:11-32 (The Prodigal Son, some thoughts and revelations)

v20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

Upon just the beginning of his return the father bolts out of his door towards his son. A far way off, not within the fence but a far way off. He runs and embraced his son with loving kisses pouring out affectionate kisses on the one who had returned.

21And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'[c] 22But the father said to his servants,[d] 'Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.' And they began to celebrate.

This is the attitude God has towards us. Upon the entering into the kingdom His primary goal is to in fact lavish us with His undying affection and set us as who we really are. To know that yes we are His children, and we are loved. His desire is constantly towards us and He has searched the depths of our hearts and minds and jubilantly has accepted us into the Beloved. He calls for the "Best Robe," a ring and shoes restoring dignity. Also He calls forth the fattened calf and celebration to boisterously expound upon the joy that somersaults in His heart at the very return of the son who had thrown away everything and forsook who He was. He is quick to redeem and does so promptly. All in the household rejoice with loud singing and triumphant jubilation because of this.

25"Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27And he said to him, 'Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.' 28But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29but he answered his father, 'Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!' 31And he said to him, 'Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.'"

The older son became swiftly indignant out in the field. Bitterness rose within a sense of fervent entitlement. With loathing breathes he sulked in misery about not getting his due. He was working for a reward. He was plowing away in the field. This was a large house and place with servants, those who do work. They were brought in so that the fammily would not need to embark on menial toil but flourish together in love, passing on a rich and very deep heritage which the father longed to lavish and pass on to the next generations as a true inheritance. The same goes with our heavenly Father.
We were all astray. We all came back but the thing is many of us have jumped ship into working into the field to earn some sort of reward and inheritance vying for the favor and affection of our heavenly Father hoping for a pat on the back for a few good deeds, a few days fasted, ect. ect. ect.... Yet upon our entering the kingdom His desire is to establish us truly as heirs. Freely we receive therefore we freely give. We earn nothing. We earn no inheritance. He calls us to cast our cares upon Him and embrace our identiy a beloved children of God who are deeply loved. He no longer calls us slaves, but sons, if sons then heirs (Galatians 4:6-7). We call out Abba Father and He responds. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He does not desire slaves but sons and daughters who are about His business.
This only comes about from coming to Him with nothing asking for embrace. We need to learn how to receive. How can we pour out that which we have not received or talk about that which we do not know? This is what you have been made for. He knows your pain, thoughts, fears, desires, and weaknesses along with all of your sin and His desire is for you to come in and be with Him. Working for recompense will lead to only emptiness, jadedness, pain, envy, insecurity, and bitterness. Be still and know He is God. You cannot enter into your full calling until you hear the words, "This is my beloved son (daughter), in whom I am well pleased!" God longs for friends not slaves. Children not butlers or maids. His desire is to love. From that and that alone comes forth the budding kingdom of God!

A Thankful Thimble of Thursday Thoughts

It has been a good day. There is peace for once. I thank God for that. Class was good. PR Team was good, as was prohpecying over a mighty man of God. The prayer room was good, it was good to rest. PFI: tongues got interpreted, words were given and angels were there. Alisha Powell's team as usual was amazing, mad props to Han Man Kim. Kicking it with Darren was rad along with collecting 50 huge worms and putting them in a small QT coffee cup with dreams of fish big in our eyes. Catching up on my own procrastination and staying up way too late hasn't been too bad either, well so far. How the lines have fallen in pleasant places, I can't wait to see where they lead me. God is good and so are my friends, go you. Be blessed. Amen.

Sigh...... I Love Jesus

Riding forth on the anathemas of the archetypes of a dying world comes the rider named faithful and true. Raising a war cry that shines forth in glowing brilliance illuminating the darkest haunts and giving life to every dead plant. With the sunrise He rides forth boldly coming to the cry of His dearly beloved to save her from the death that has her surrounded. Sustained by all consuming zeal He rides with loud shouts of singing backed by the choirs of heaven. Resolute He rides forth with peace burning deep within His jealous eyes. He is our God. He is the one who was slain driven by love so indescribable that even death and Hades fell underneath its triumphing heralds. Bearing the scars of a battle He entered surpassing obligation but out of sheer delight He embraced inscrutable agony and now His time has come. The increase of His government and peace will know no end streaming from Jerusalem to the smallest galaxies in the universe. Commanding love drives Him as patience fuels the pent up affection and rage that rises deep within the heart of He who overcame. For this He is worthy, for this He is given the name above every name and due all glory, praise and honor.
There is a blood that screams louder than the loudest lie. There are tears that falls harder than a pounding monsoon. Justice cries forth in the streets, running to and fro beckoning all the afflicted to come to her healing embrace. She is scorned as groans fill the heavenlies. Death reigns over the multitude as He weeps aloud over the slain of His creation. His love shouts louder than the scars of Baal and the vomit of Ashera. The scars of land and people whored away are covered by this all consuming wave of love. All who enter in are cleaned and fully accepted in the Beloved.

Oh, how He loves us, Oh, how He loves us. Taste and see that He is good. The foundation of His throne is righteousness and justice and mercy pours forth like a raging stream. His promises are yes and amen, truly they are. He has not forgotten His people and calls them to walk fully as ambassadors. Fed on joyous hope we march on laying waste the forces of death, sin, and disease. It is for you, it is for me, may His love abound still more and more consuming the apple of His eye, His radiant and stunning bride.

A Brief Exhortation

The magnitude of the situation is lengthened as light begins to pour even more fervently in. Ever groaning palpitations beat from the unknown warmth that ticks loudly within the cracks of a broken and frail. From the depths of the wellspring of the soul LOVE stirs with tender violence amidst the tremors and posing of the child grasping along the paths of destiny and love. As the fire begins to kindle warm eyes look down from heaven intoxicating the Spirit in a union of bliss and exhilaration. Within the temple war has raged as a word speaks “Peace” silencing the daunting precepts once heavily ingrained into the dying empire of lies. LOVE dwells inside and takes delight in the place He has predestined for Himself to rest in. Despite the frailty of the home from the wellsprings of life the adrenal flow of inexpressible joy goes forth as strength through every capillary of the beloved child.
Every hair is numbered as is every nation in that bucket. Within the drop sheer delight is taken in His children as LOVE calls them forth into the transcendent beauty of their true calling. Inhibitions lay six feet under as the Good Shepherd guides with an overflow of tenderness and compassion resolute to have the riches of His inheritance. He is their strength, He is their reward, He is their unity, and He is peace. Shrouded in humility He lusts after those He predestined and carries the wounded and gently leads those with young. As the dwellers of dust are seated with princes and the barren woman sings for she has been given child the King rides forth to the advancement of the love that thrives in the furthest depths of His being.
Rejoice my brother and dance my sister for you are loved. Inside the arms are the joy and affection that you were birthed for. This is justice, that the King would have His way. His way is for you, poor, lowly and broken to walk as who you are: beautiful, cherished, unique and an heir to the one who spoke all things to being and who invented the concepts of affection and laughter. Oh bride the marriage is on the horizon. The day of the gladness of His heart. He sees you and loves you with delight that goes beyond words and heralds out of the sovereign blood once shed.
The kingdom suffers violence and the violent take it by force may his violence consume you and drive out all fear so you may drink deep of the pleasures forevermore and walk as one who is their Beloved’s and the Beloved is theirs. Through this comes the advancement of the Kingdom. The uprising is not through wholesale and well articulated propaganda but through the very whispers of LOVE. Bellow it from the steeples and ride forth. The LOVE that existed before time lies within you. Rest in His arms and sleep in His bed, there is a design for what He did and said.
Be loved beloved, this is your strength and this is your calling to overflow superfluously from the fountain of delight and tears of the Almighty with all confidence and joy. Oh beautiful ones He will finish what He began until all that is left is faith, hope, and love. The greatest of these being love. We march on laying hold of the journey into the heart of the Triune dance knowing that we have not been forgotten and that we will never be alone. Despite abject despondancy and the swirl of voices and feelings that pull every which way the Lord will swiftly come to all who call on His name and wait for His glorious presence and jubilant return.

A New Hope (or Chewbacca's Solo Mission)

Today was a good day. To warn you this may end up being a somewhat lengthy post, be it I have not yet mapped anything out I had a really good day and I frankly feel kind of like preaching. So my beloved readers, and yes I adore all of you who read from the utter depths of my fledgling heart, here is a peek at what has been going on. I most likely will be vaguely candid on issues I generally skirt but hey, enjoy.

Yesterday was a good day. I just thought I would get that out of my way. I wept heavily for the first time in a good long while. To be a little open with my crowd, God has been in a place of bringing up my darkness and pain in order to open the eyes of my understanding, that I may know the hope of my calling, the glorious riches of His inheritance and His exceeding power towards me who believes and well even doubts at times, a lot of times. I need a father. I lack direction and I have been seeking identity in a vacuum scared out of my mind with no direction and feeling the futility of my own scraping fall to dust and incompletion, well a lot of them. I need to know the Father’s love and well let Him provide for me and drop Atlas and the world from my back I thank you friends who encouraged me. I due and I cannot express enough the gratitude I have in my heart for those who have fought for me and continue to do so, God will reward you, deeply.

Yesterday left me with a lot on my mind i.e. dealing with identity, emotional longings across the board, the future, and well life and God. You know, all of the short concise questions which within12.7 seconds can all be answered by Wikipedia. I mean shoot, that isn’t much, LOL(ok so honestly it has been a good solid year and a half since I have actually typed that and I know that eyes were rolled at its usage but hey, where would we be today without acronyms, IHOP would be sunk). But anyway, tangent aside God has been carrying me in this haze lightly soaking me with hope. Today the three main contributors were men of God who I consider a full honor to know, be with, and befriend: Kevin Samuel, Matthew Johnson, and Joshua Forrey.

Starting with Kevin. We got together at about 5:30ish and rocked out the Antique Furniture Mall (Joe’s Town to the newer crowd) and we found a couple of really comfy chairs two feet in front of a large bureau with nice glasses and an array of Lord of the Rings posters in it. After that we skedaddled over to Sam’s for some food and we just talked. Kevin has some mad depth, I mean for real, God has given him vision birthed deep. Through the laughs and the tears (not really tears) God nudged me to look somewhat up and catch once again another glimmer of hope. Right now if you don’t mind throw up a blessing for Kevin, it would be rad.

So after going home and enjoying some Spongebob with my little bro I went over to my buddy Matt Johnson’s and we caught up with each other on life. It had been a real long time since we had talked and it was good. I like to see the way God moves outside of my own little sphere in His various divine ways. He knows us all and He cares for us all. I mean there is not a sparrow who He doesn’t see fall how much more the one’s He made in His own image let alone His children. I mean He is faithful. That and we played some video games for awhile. I have never been big into playing anything and it had been a long time since I had sat down to play anything but it was good. Some Bond game for X-Box that was just fun. Video games and scintillating conversation about the Almighty, I was a fan. If you can please throw up a quick prayers for Matt, he needs to be blessed gosh dang-it.

Moving on to the next event, Josh. I thank God for this guy, I mean honestly he is a good friend and God has ridiculously blessed me by just knowing this guy. We conversed as we often do, about God, life, the future, and well ‘love and whatnot.’ Anyhoo, throughout the nights events which included meeting a believer who worked at Wal-Mart named Abraham (he is an Indian man who loves Jesus and stocks shelves and if you are ever in there and see him you should rush to bless his socks off), we moseyed to my casa and watched some Fraggle Rock, FTFNF with the crew and watching American Tale (Fiefel Goes West), and kicking it at the ‘Bucks God intermingled with our words as to each of us hope was imparted. I mean honestly, I have been going to God regarding certain things in my life and throwing them at His feet and in turn growing deeper in God. It was something that I have never thought of but God gives voices in your life to truly exhort and to love on ya with. It is not sin at all but things that demand wisdom in order to well fully engage with. Amidst my fear, crap, anxiety, questions, and uncertainty regarding them I have been driven directly into my Father’s huge arms of love. Through all of the workings in my heart and the longings, pullings, wonderings I have found one thing and that is God cares. I mean He knows us. He knows each one of our thoughts, longings, and questions. He knows the demons we still need dragged out of us the deep wells of pain which we have for too long been terrified for Him to probe and heal. He cares and He is so gentle with His children. I mean I am grateful. Throughout 7 or so hours of just talking and actual well, fellowship, I am left with peace resolved even more in the midst of the haze. It was good. I mean a really good night. Right now you should probably pray a blessing over Josh and his apartment they really could use it, I mean a heck of a lot. They are good guys and it would be rad of you to bless them.
So that was a lot, for the few who are still actually reading this God has been hitting me with something really cool lately and I want to expound briefly, I say briefly because I understand the concept of attention spans and I am also really really tired, I am looking forward to the voice of Gobo Fraggle lolling me to sleep in about twenty minutes. Anyway, here goes:


And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. Revelation 12:11

So amidst the battle in which looms in front of us, the one raging on around and in us, and the grand drama that is beginning to unfold like a flower about to bloom we went and yearn to overcome. I mean we do not want to fall away and perish but live confident in the day in which Christ is fully revealed and we are fully transformed into the likeness of our Beloved, Jesus Christ. What holds the authority is His blood which has reconciled all things and conquered death and our testimony. This is not vision that is being preached. This is not mere convictions but the actual declaration of the Son of God through the knowing of a man and entering into an active relationship with the Beloved in whom we believers are in fact accepted in. It comes from the conversations and the contemplation of knowing someone. We will not overcome speaking of a love in which we have never known and He beckons us forth into Him through His word and actual relationship. Amidst the brokenness and fear that grips our depths in Him do we find peace and we testify not just to the addiction which we were delivered of but of the place we have been seated and the kingdom to come in which He bore the full cup of wrath for every individual to enter into.

These are just a few thoughts on that. My brain is friend and the sonnets coming from my pillows are drawing me away. You are loved. My brothers and my sisters in Christ you are accepted and He loves you with a love which testifies louder than all doubt and darkness. Give your wounds to Him and let Him carry you. The burden of clarity and resolve will crush you unless you rest in His arms and cast all your cares on Him. God knows you deeper than even you do and every ounce of His attention and affection is directed directly to you and will see you through. He loved you to the end and the end is yet to come. Be loved and bless you all who have fought for me and stood with me.

On a side note, peace is only found in Christ Jesus, if you have found me through an obscure search engine or my old xanga or myspace and do not know Christ know that without Him the misery will only grow without him and the torment will only increase after death. You were made out of His longing to be enjoyed. In Him is peace and He can overcome every weakness in you for He holds the keys to death and Hades. Call out to Him and He will make Himself known.

*This post has been brought to you in part by the music of Ray Barbee and Paco de Lucia. Blessings all around.

A Journally Thing

So here we are. The vast abyss ahead of me is becoming to be more comforting than threatening. I mean I see no path, I have no real direction but on I plod. Day in and day out, blind monotony hoping for the best. I know I am not alone in this and I know that God is in control but it would be great to see a few things. Words have fallen to echoes as the mind gets refurbished and fumigated. Despite the loud hacking it has been a nearly pleasurable experience. The heart pounds for love but the pride says no, because of what the heart is longing for, I'm not sure, I'm not sure I wanna be a man anymore....... Okay not really I just like Blindside and haven't heard that song in forever.
The heart pounds and aches. Spiritual, physical, the yearnings more or less converge into one scream lacking any real guide post but God is faithful, I am pretty sure, thats what He tells me anyways. Obscurity and longing all over the place. Patience is honestly a drag because frankly I would love to be at a place in which I am somewhat mature enough to enter into things my heart and soul cry out for.... looking for an off switch has just been a waste of time. But He is faithful and His word is life.
I am His child whom He adores. He knows my thoughts, feelings, desires, pains, troubles, dreams, weakness, and is still entirely for me. This isn't just like some fan drinking a beer hooting at a TV screen watching their team actually make a touchdown, (Joe Gibbs I want something in return for all these years, come on.....); but He is a Father and a Husband and a Good friend who is absolutely absorbred in who we are with an unyielding affection for us. I mean He is good. I mean, if this was something I could plug in my head and all of a sudden know and embrace wholly that would be great. But I know this God does not screw us over. We are not His playthings He messes with to get a laugh. He cares, He truly does. He is good and I ache inside for about a billion things, err... maybe a handful but still He is good. He will finish all He started and yeah, Thank You God!!

Despite the insecurity and uncertainty
He is faithful when I am faithless
May He be strong in my weakness
Blessed be the name of the LORD

Room 238 - early beginnings

I am beginning to write a story, you can follow it at http://room-238.blogspot.com