The Workers Are Going Home

Summer is coming to a quick and rapid close. It is interesting, it is ending on a note which I honestly never saw coming. Amidst the busines of the base and other things it seems as if myself and the gang are to a degree parting ways yet going the same direction. Seasons change and so do atmospheres. I am pretty enthused for this school year yet am left pondering if this is all there is for me. Granted for awhile my thoughts were tied down here strictly because of the community I am at the point of wondering if this is actually what I want to do with the rest of my life. I have no technical skills and musically am hitting nothing but walls. A couple times a week I even toy with the idea of running off to law school, I mean I am only twenty. Granted regardless of what I will be doing I will be keeping a life in prayer and pursuing God, but is this all there is for me. I hold firm to the prophecies and I beleive that we are in fact living in a sovreign time of history yet I feel as if I am just merely floating. Everything that once drove me seems to have fallen through the cracks of selfish ambition or even futility. As of recent I have been given words about asking for the desires of my heart, I haven't the slightest clue of what they are. I mean other than the normal ones like know God, fall in love, and actually walk in a calling. I will know more and more of God as the days pass, I am not really attracted to anyone at all now, nor do I have any idea of what I want to do with my life. I know I need to grow up and that is currently the one thing I am working on, doing miserably but working on. I mean I live at home with my family, have most of my needs met, and have really never held any responsibilty. I mean God has me where I am for a reason, that is something I cannot refute. I am at a place where I want something to run for. I have come to a place where I don't just want to follow another man's vision but carve out my own. On the plus side I am enjoying school, my heart hurts resoundingly less, hope is blossomming, and I am beginning to have more peace than I have felt in a very long time. I know next month holds many good things, I don't know what they are but its a promise I have been clinging to for about a year now. On another note I miss a lot of the music I used to listen to, specificly Weezer and Ben Folds. If you think of it throw up a quick prayer for their salvation. Thatis all there is from here. Sham on.